Spr0cketz

Dear OJ, I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time

That just sounds desperate.

Paper sighed. This was the reason he’d been avoiding confessing to OJ for so long; getting 10+ people to agree on what to say, or what to do at all, was extremely difficult.

He picked up his pencil again, erasing the previous line, trying again

Dear OJ, I have something to tell you

Don’t make it sound so important. In the grand scheme of things, this is useless to begin with, we don't need anyone else!

Yes, but some of us want to do things because they’re pleasant! Let us have fun!

Oh sure, ‘fun’. He’s gonna get bored of us after a month anyway, let’s just not get hurt. Again.

Dear OJ, Id like to tell you something

You forgot the apostrophe in ‘I’d’.

Dear OJ, I’d like to tell you something.

It’s a tad bit bland, don’t you think?

It’s fine! Just move onto the next sentence before we spend all day on this!

Ever since the kindness you showed me during season one, I’ve loved you.

Woah, woah! Slow down! Lead up to it, you’ll scare him off!

Good! I want him gone!

Ever since the kindness you showed me during season one, you've made me so happy.

Better.

You have been my closest friend for years now, and my comanager for almost as long. Through it all, you’ve made me feel so accepted and happy.

Do you even really love him? This is getting so repetitive!

You have been my closest friend for years now, and my comanager for almost as long. Through it all, you’ve made me feel so accepted and safe.

Liar. you’ve been walking on eggshells for the sake of his over-inflated ego for years!

Shut up!

I can only hope I’ve done the same for you. All I’ve really wanted all these years is to see that smile on your face.

Wow, that’s just sad. We really don’t have a life, huh?

Exactly! Who died and made doormat loverboy host?!

I’m pretty sure once the competition ended the old one went dormant.

Oh shit, for real?!

Do you live under a rock?!

It makes me so happy

Repetitive.

It makes me so glad

Same thing.

Shh!

It makes me so glad to know I have a positive effect on your life. I want you to know you’ve had the same effect on mine.

Bro, he’s like, where 90% of your stress comes from. I think we should kill him.

Murder is wrong!

It’s not murder, mephone will bring him back. I just want to send a message.

I just want to let you know that my feelings go a bit beyond that care alone. If you feel the same, I’m ready to take the next step with you. Let’s fuck like rabbits.

What?! What the fuck?! Why???

Funny.

I just want to let you know that my feelings go a bit beyond that care alone. If you feel the same, I’m ready to take the next step with you. I’d like to enter a romantic relationship with you.

You sound like a robot.

I’d like to start dating. I’m sorry I can’t bring myself to say this in person, but I hope you’ll accept it like this.

He won't, he'll hate us forever.

Please just shut up and let the people who actually want this write!

With love that I hope you’ll accept, paper.

And only paper, because he refuses to acknowledge my superior

Paper erased that last part before it could spiral. It may be a bit simple, but it said everything he felt inside. Well, not everything, but the positive things!

He folded the letter in half, and set off to give it to OJ.

Are you sure this is a good idea?

Yes, now shut up.

You know, you should learn to listen to us more. You’re not the only one in here.

I’m painfully aware.

He ended up quite literally bumping into OJ in the hall, too lost in his own mind to notice him.

“Woah, you okay?” OJ asked.

“Y-yeah!” paper nodded. “I was actually looking for you!”

“Oh really?” he smirked.

“Yeah, I have something for you!” He presented the letter to OJ.

“Oh, what’s this?

“Just a letter to tell you some stuff I’m having trouble telling you myself.”

“Oh, paper, you know you can tell me anything.” OJ reassured. “But if this is really so hard to say out loud, I’ll be sure to read it.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much-”

“The next time I sit down to read the complaint box.” he shoved the letter into the conveniently placed complaints box.

“What.”

“Thank you so much for your input! I’ll be right on it!” OJ rustled his hair, and continued on.

Paper stood in stunned silence for a moment, before collapsing onto his knees.

He… he does remember he replaced the complaints box with a complaints box shaped shredder months ago, right?

You give that idiot too much credit.

Does anyone know how to make yourself go dormant?

Paper’s final letter:

Dear OJ, I’d like to tell you something.

Ever since the kindness you showed me during season one, you've made me so happy. You have been my closest friend for years now, and my comanager for almost as long. Through it all, you’ve made me feel so accepted and safe. I can only hope I’ve done the same for you. All I’ve really wanted all these years is to see that smile on your face. It makes me so glad to know I have a positive effect on your life. I want you to know you’ve had the same effect on mine.

I just want to let you know that my feelings go a bit beyond that care alone. If you feel the same, I’m ready to take the next step with you. I’d like to start dating. I’m sorry I can’t bring myself to say this in person, but I hope you’ll accept it like this.

“OJ, are you seriously wearing a suit?” paper chuckled, adjusting the straps on his sundress.

“Well, it’s a date. I want to look nice!” OJ defended.

“It’s a picnic date, and it’s 30 degrees out.”

“You know I run cold!”

“Oh trust me, I know.” paper snarked.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“I’m all warm and cozy in bed, and then you come home from work while I'm sleeping and wake me up by shoving your cold feet on me!”

“Well I don’t mean to!”

Paper chuckled, before placing a soft kiss to OJ’s cheek. “I know, love. I know.”

OJ sighed, and finished tying his tie, looking into the full length mirror on the back of the door. He tried his best to push down his nerves, but even if it worked on everyone else, paper saw through it clearly.

“Nervous?” he prodded, yet not too invasive.

“A-a little…” OJ admitted. “I mean, I see them everyday! Kind of hard not to when there’s only like, fifty other people here. But just… not like this. Our interactions have always been between a resident and an OSC member, not… whatever the gender neutral term for sister wives is!”

“OJ…” paper gently brushed his hand against OJ’s. “I’m not you, so I don’t know how this will feel for you, but I really do hope this will be comfortable. Both me and poppy intend to do everything in our power to make sure you and metag are comfortable with this arrangement. So if you need anything, just tell me, okay?”

OJ took a deep, regulating break, just like candle had taught him to. “Okay. I will.”

🧺

“Over here!” Poppy called as the two approached, as if the picnic blanket inhabited by a 400 pound robot was easy to miss.

“Hi poppy!” paper beamed, pulling OJ, who was already regretting his fashion choices, towards them. He let go of his hand only to pull his partner into a hug they happily reciprocated.

“Woah, you’re really oily!” they noted.

“Yeah, it takes a lot of sunscreen to keep me from burning to a crisp. Albinism, and all that.” he explained.

“Yeah, I get that.” Poppy giggled, gesturing at their own fairly light skin.

As they talked, metag approached OJ, and the two shared a casual fist bump. Before he could even start some kind of smalltalk, he was tackled by Poppy and squeezed tight.

“Hi OJ!” They smiled. “This is so exciting! I’ve never really gotten to talk to you outside of work! Paper talks about you all the time, and I’ve been so antsy to get to see what you’re like off the clock for myself.”

“Well then, I guess it’s a good thing we’re doing this.” he chuckled nervously.

“It is! Come on, sit down! We made sandwiches!” he was pulled to the ground surprisingly easily. It was easy to forget just how strong poppy was sometimes.

The afternoon continued on calmly with poppy and paper tending to lead the conversation. Metag could sign when they wanted to, but generally was pretty quiet, and OJ was just out of his element. This setup was just… strange. It made him feel oddly out of place.

Don’t get him wrong, he was incredibly happy for paper! It was nice that he found someone just as kind, dorky, and, well, frankly autistic as he was. It was great that he had formed that connection with someone who understood him better.

But with that came a sense that OJ himself was… inferior.

They’d had difficulties before. A lot of difficulties. OJ had treated him terribly for years at the hotel, overlooking him and taking him for granted, barely looking up from his work long enough to notice that while he was holding everyone else together, paper was keeping him together. It literally took dying for him to notice. For months, he couldn’t help but wonder how much better off paper would be if he wasn’t stuck with him, with someone suffering from NPD. That if he was better at understanding people, if he wasn’t disabled, paper’s life would be so much easier.

And low and behold; he had his answer. Now paper had a partner who was so much more like him. They matched each other's energy, shared interests, just got along better. And beyond that, poppy wasn’t stuck with a disorder that ruined every relationship they had right under their nose, they had far less chances to fuck it up. Unlike him, stuck with what most people knew as the ‘horrible abuser’ disorder.

He felt jealous of them, at how much better of a fit they were. If poppy had been here sooner, would him and paper even still be dating? Or did he luck out enough to meet paper before he met his perfect match? If he had poppy from the beginning, would he just see OJ as the same arrogant, self obsessed winner everyone else did? Would he even spare him a glance now?

“I, um, my water bottles empty. I’m gonna go fill it.” OJ tried to excuse himself. He just needed some time to get over himself before he fucked things up. Again. 

“Oh, I thought about that!” Poppy interrupted, pulling a thermos of orange juice out of the basket. “Paper told me about how mephone thought it was funny to make your body run primarily off of orange juice instead of water for some reason, so I brought some for you.”

Oh my god, why was the reincarnation of steve fucking cobs so perfect?!

“Uh, I’m actually craving water right now. I’ll take a sip later, but, uh, yeah. I’ll be right back.” he got up fully this time, and ran in a totally non suspicious way into the nearest building.

The moment the door closed behind him, he slid down the wall, sighing. He reached the floor, and banged his head against the wall as he leaned it back.

He closed his eyes and ran a hand down his face. “Fuck…” 

He startled with a yelp as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He looked up to see metag kneeled slightly above him, fans whirring like crazy. They tilted their head confused, before lifting their hands.

“Are you okay?” they signed.

OJ huffed, too tired to bother with lying. “No.” a tilt of metag’s head urged him to elaborate. “I just- I’m a terrible boyfriend! I literally had to die before I treated paper right, and now he has the person who popped out of the ground perfect! I’m just- I’m not what he needs, and I’m just scared he’s gonna dump me any day now once he realizes that!”

He watched as metag sat down beside him, raising their hands again. “I understand how you feel.”

“What- really?” OJ stumbled, baffled.

“Really.” metag nodded. “Poppy, despite the unusual circumstances of their creation, isa human. Humans are pack animals that require connection with other humans. I am not human. I can not fulfil that need for them, even if they believe I can. A human will always be a better companion for them, and I often find myself worried that once the others come around to them, I will be irrelevant. Paper is far more suitable to their romantic, and sexual should they choose to pursue them, needs. This feels like the first step towards being discarded for me as well.”

OJ sat stunned for a moment. He wasn’t expecting anyone to relate to his emotions, and he’d never seen metag sign so much to anyone other than poppy. Still, it felt nice to be understood.

“Thanks man. I’m glad I'm not the only person going through this.” he managed a genuine smile without noticing.

Matag gave a slow, firm nod in response.

Both startled and turned their heads as they heard the door creak open.

“Hey metag? Were we right? Is he crying? Do you need help?” Poppy peaked their head through the door, eyes widening when they saw them unexpectedly sitting together, oddly content looking.

“Huh? Poppy? What’s going on?” OJ could hear papers voice from behind them.

“Wait, what’s going on?” OJ asked.

Poppy walked into the room, followed by paper. “Well, you looked upset, and metag volunteered to make sure you were okay, but then they didn’t come back, so we got worried and came to find you.” they explained.

“Oh, yeah, there’s nothing to worry about. We were just talking.” OJ explained.

Poppy gasped,a wide smile on their face, as they rushed down to pull metag into a hug. “You’re talking to other people now?! I’m so happy for you. 

Paper sat next to OJ, taking his hand. “Why did you look so upset, anyway?”

“I just… I just feel like I’m not a good partner, and that you’d be happier with poppy. So, what’s the point?”

Before paper could say anything, metag clapped their hands, bringing attention to themself. “I also feel inferior, and that poppy would be better off focusing their relationships with other humans instead of wasting time on me.” 

“That-that’s not true at all!” Poppy squeaked.

“Yeah! You’re our partners. Even if we’re in love with each other, we still love you just as much!” paper explained.

“Love doesn’t divide, it multiplies. We love you with our whole hearts, just as much as we love each other."

“We wouldn’t be as happy without you in our lives. Here’s a reason we wanted to have a date with all of us, and it's because we love you just as much, and want to have the most important people in our lives in one place.”

“We really, really want this to work out for all of us, that’s why we asked for polyamory instead of breaking up with you. People can love more than one person, and we want you to feel just how much we love you.”

“Just know that even if our time might be divided, how much we love you isn’t. We want to take every opportunity we can to have each other all in the same place so we don’t have to sacrifice time spent with any of our loved ones.”

Both of them were left at a loss of words. They felt so completely and overwhelmingly cared for and loved. And it really did feel like it was possible for them to be loved not despite their shortcomings, but for all they had to give.

“Now, come on. We’ve got sandwiches to eat.” Poppy smiled.

“Y-yeah, okay.” OJ nodded, raising to his feet.

Only to feel immediately light headed. He should have drunk that orange juice…

“I’m gonna kill mephone myself if he ever shows his face here again.” he muttered.

“Seaconded.” paper agreed.

“Thirded.” Poppy raised their hand.

Paper stared confused as his own hand raised. He didn’t realize anyone was confronting…