Flemish Derp

my low-stakes hollanov headcanon is that ilya slips into russian when he’s tired and doesn’t notice it, and only shane experiences it consistently because he’s the only one ilya lets himself just be around. shane learned several russian phrases just from that.

maybe once they’ve won the cup together, shane and ilya go to cabo alone or something and they get papped because they’re hot shit and their story broke containment, and the paparazzi thought they’d get hot steamy pics of them making out shirtless, and they do, but it’s still really close to postseason and they’re both still kinda skinny and full of bruises in various colors, and immediately there’s a public outcry about them being abusive towards each other, and all the hockey fans are like guys, they just got boarded like 30 times each, they’re lucky they have ribs left. anyway that’s how the centaurs end up having to make a compilation of every hit they got during playoffs and there’s like a nyt op-ed about violence in hockey, and meanwhile they’re too busy giving each other a hickey necklace and drinking margaritas.

every time connor does anything with ysl, i always end up thinking man, the check must’ve been stupendous, and not in a good way

for the record, if the guy you want to call a twink is in fact a 200lbs professional athlete who can bench his 200lbs professional athlete boyfriend, he’s not a twink. thanks.