As an afterschool caregiver who prides herself on respecting children and being the favorite teacher, I NEED people to know that this applies to in-school abuse and mistreatment, too.
I travel to 17 different elementary schools with an after-school program. I have consistently seen horrible mistreatment of autistic children, Black children, visibly queer children, ANY kind of children.
Black boys especially are labeled at troublemakers from the get go, and are treated vastly differently. I will never forget going to one particular school for the first time, and gaining rapport with a young Black boy. He was a joy! Playful and ornery, but well-behaved. I later learned that his teachers "had" to walk him down the hallway to "keep him in line". He is in third grade, showed me NONE of these "behaviors" outside of just being playful. Black boys are punished and treated like shit for things white kids get away with all the time. Hell, I WAS the white kid who got away with everything. I watched Black classmates get suspended for being half the nightmare I was.
I've seen first-hand a "low-functioning" 6 year old boy (autism, ADHD, and cerebral palsy) be treated like shit for stimming. Yelled at, written up, everything. This was the base I started at before my promotion--Our director told him to sit in the corner on his iPad for the whole 4 hours we had him. I had this same "troublemaker" over the summer program. Away from his usual director, I encouraged him to stim and sing and run around, no iPad allowed. I got him headphones and took him out in the hallway to give him the extra care he needed, and he was infinitely better "behaved". He shined so bright that summer, made friends, and was the happiest I'd ever seen him. I ache to think that he's back at my original base. The following school year, I was promoted to a traveling position, so I seldom get to see him. But he, too, is a prime example of children thriving regardless of the labels placed on them.
At this original base, we had one young Black boy who was ALSO labeled a trouble maker, had some ODD tendencies and did show some of the bad behavior. He was so, SO smart. Too smart for his own good to be in fifth grade, which is why I acted up, too. When he got in trouble, he refused to go to time out when anyone but me would try. My coworkers would yell and command him, pushing him further into the "trouble maker" label. Instead of yelling at him, I would sit down with him, explain why what he did was wrong and that he needed to sit down for a minute. I talked to him like a person and not a problem, and he was infinitely better behaved. This boy would make me bracelets, joke with me, be my little buddy. He hated all the other teachers because they treated him like a problem that couldn't be solved. I treated him like a little brother. I became friends with his older sister (who volunteered with us) and saw him and his sister get baptized. I'm happy to say I still see them from time to time, and that this boy is doing well in middle school.
All this to say--adults should know better. Parents and teachers alike need to really examine how to treat and label kids. If a kid has behaviors, there's a reason for it, and not always a reason they can fix. Adults want to bring the hammer down on trouble makers, and only pushes them further away from growing and reaching their full potential. All children are people; All people need to be treated with respect AND according to their needs.
If you were a young Black person who was treated like shit at school over your race, you didn't deserve that.
If you were a young neurodiverse person who was treated like shit over being neurodiverse, you didn't deserve that.
If you were ANY kind of child who was treated like shit for ANY reason--you didn't deserve that.
Adults, do better. No child deserves to be othered for not conforming to your idea of a perfect child.
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