Life on a Spaghetti Bridge

its so sweet to me whenever a reconstruction of a neanderthal's face shows up on social media and people are like "oh they would have loved minecraft" "they would have loved weed brownies" it's so sweet. i hope that continues on to the next stage of human evolution. i want whoever comes next to dig me up, reconstruct my face, and for the girlbloggers of this far-flung civilization to go "duuuude she would have loved churfing back a freefing zarbee"

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

defunctland episode released immediately upon your death chronicling all failed career paths and relationships and somehow michael eisner is still at fault

Wait are iPhone bros coping because Apple has to be more universal? Lol.

Boo hoo i'll be able to add more physical storage to my phone and be able to change out batteries if they degrade as well as all these other optional features I won't have to touch

Continuing in the trend of political cartoons depicting milquetoast moderate positions seem so much cooler and more badass than they are

I love how they add totally absurd things no one is asking for to make the idea look crazy. And still, I must emphasize, failing to make this look like a bad idea.

"Is this what you want? Is this ugly stupid bullcrap what you want??" the biggest loudest idiot in the room asks, holding up a picture of the hottest looking shit I've ever seen

Tag game reblog this and put Baby’s First Blorbo in the tags like who was the first Character to move into your head and live there back when you were still figuring out how to tie your shoes

Alright tell me in the tags, what’s Your Poem? That poem you heard once and it has dwelt within you ever since?

Not to sound like a broken record but does it make anyone else viscerally angry how we realized in the very recent past that we can successfully eradicate devastating human-specific diseases (smallpox) yet now there's a million people telling you not to vaccinate your kids against measles. I know I know "everyone will not just" but also for real we could never have measles again if everyone would just be cool

Elphaba needing a man to tell her she's beautiful and being shoved into a heteronormartive happily ever after at the end will always be the worst writing decision of the entire show to me. Notice how it's always the defiant woman who needs a man's validation and needs a relationship for her suffering to end. Like you can't seriously defend this sh*t. Read some feminist theory please.

i do not “delete sentences” when they start “hindering the plot” i COPY PASTE THEM into a SEPARATE DOC made just for keeping all my USELESS LINES that i will also NEVER USE so therefore i should JUST DELETE THEM but i DONT because id FEEL BAD if i did

You don't actually have to kill your darlings. You can just put them in the oubliette #myoubliette