Forsaken Thoughts

i just wanted to draw yaoi but kept thinking about the people saying that TDL had to constantly suppress the violent urges against TCO,,

I like to think that when they got out of Alan's PC and started kind of settling down, they'd be trying out all sorts of things in between their destructive episodes to figure out what "living" and "freedom" meant.

Obviously TDL ended up deciding that violence was the way, but you can't convince me they didn't try other things before that. This is also my justification for switch dynamics in bed because 1) I'm a firm believer of fluidity and 2) you gotta try it all, no homo.

On that note, I was actually pretty conflicted on who'd take the lead in this specific scenario— I mean, I'd assume that TCO would hate having his hard earned freedom taken away (again), but also, there's no way in hell TDL would calmly bottom.

In any case, it turned out like this. What if being so close to TCO, with him being so open and vulnerable, led to TDL's code acting up? Even worse, what if it felt good?

TCO isn't really that gentle of a soul so I doubt he'd be freaky enough to let TDL hurt him for fun (up to debate honestly), meaning TDL would have to suppress his urges even harder after getting a glimpse of another form of pleasure.

Anyway, I actually drew this because I wanted to see more chodark and like be the change you want to see in the world yk. And then it turned into a comic about TDL's struggle against his very nature (code) during their relationship, and then it became post-divorce angst. Wow. Pat on the back. How did I turn something fun into this..

It includes:

A telesync of the movie (with English soft subtitles)

A digital copy of the movie (with occasional Russian hard subtitles)

My transcript of the movie (more on that here)

Audio recordings of the movie

A PDF of the book

An EPUB of the book (for e-readers)

The full audiobook

A copy of Andy Weir's doc on Eridians

A copy of Andy Weir's spreadsheet on Astrophage physics (among many other things!)

A draft of the screenplay for the film from 2022

An audio recording of the director's commentary

My transcript of the director's commentary

The telesync subtitle SRT file

The audiobook, audio recordings, and commentary all have their properties programmed so they (should) work just like songs with a track number, album cover, artist, and so on if you download them.

There are two audios of the movie, one is the entire film untouched and one is that same audio cut up and broken down into separate scenes for convenience.

Additionally, there are two versions of the transcript, one with time stamps that match the audio and one without. The time stamps (+ their titles from the audio) are outlined in that version, so if you double-click on that tab or click "show outline," they'll all show up and you can pick a specific scene.

The first few seconds of the commentary are missing unfortunately as my US friend who was kind enough to record it for me had some technical difficulties at the start, but the commentary starts around the shot of the robot arms right before the shot of "good luck!" written on Grace's sleeping bag. It's also about 40-45-ish seconds behind the audio recording if you can only listen.

There's also a google doc with some instructions to follow if any of the files aren't working, which usually happens when too many people try to access or download something at the same time.

There are two different versions of the transcript, the first is made to listen along to the commentary, while the second is more intended to be read on its own. The first is a direct transcription of everything that's said (an attempt, at least), while the second is slightly cleaned up for easier reading, meaning things like jumbled sentences and stuttering were removed or reorganised, but nothing has been actually paraphrased or anything. Both are broken down into different scenes based on how their conversation goes, and the listening version includes timestamps.