Negative, I am a meat popsicle

Things to do with your twin

How did it get up there

It’s difficult to tell - typically light fixtures are installed using some combination of screws and brackets to affix them to the wall, but in this case the actual point of connection is obscured by a cat.

Why does it feel weird and intimate to mention that someone was in even the most innocuous of your dreams? Sorry my subconscious decided to think about you for a second. You were a curator at an ice cream museum that was also my second grade classroom. If you even care.

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

can not recommend letting your child do a big scream when they are frustrated enough. Just straight up ask them like "hey do you need to do a big scream?" And if they say yes let cover your ears and say okay GO and let them scream because you know what eventually when you're really frustrated your little person with your face is gonna look at you with their ears covered and yell "HEY DO YOU NEED TA DO A BIG SCHREAM?!" and you can just... do a big scream and it won't scare them and you will feel better too

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

Diversity hire bryson ur absolutely slaying

ㅤ

Job application screening question

belphie is always psyched out of his mind to see me, and the feeling is mutual. I'm like "BELPHIE! MY BOY!" and he's purring and wagging his tail and doing his little plip-plip-plip speed trot toward me, and meanwhile we were together all day but were just in different rooms for a second

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

as a child there's nothing cooler than a kid who gets subjected to evil experiments and gains special abilities. it's even cooler if these abilities also cause unfathomable suffering to use/against others. children love stories like this.

The children yearn to be Mewtwo