The Dumpster Fire

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

I love environmental storytelling

Its fucking hieroglyphs with you people

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

people love the idea of the mean girl nurse pipeline because it problematises medical abuse as a personal perversion rather than understanding it as a product of broadly held ableist values and its like, if this was only about ontologically evil teenage girls choosing to enter a profession because of their unique sadism then you really wouldnt expect to see the exact same forms of abuse pervading all arrangements of paid, unpaid, formal, ad hoc, and familial caretaking as well -- its more comforting to believe the nurse was just a preexisting bad person than that most of the world broadly hates disabled people and will abuse, neglect, and gaslight them if given power over their care

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

my two brain cells

This is what executive dysfunction looks like

Inside you there are two hamsters…

I want jury duty so bad being on a jury with me would be like being in a saw trap please summon me I have never heard of the term “jury nullification” before in my life I promise please

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

I wonder how it feels to be a therapist or psychiatrist in 2026 and watch the despair of young patients and realize it’s not attributed to mental illness but a rational response to the state of the capitalist hellscape world we live in

I’m not depressed because I need a higher dose of my mood stabilizer. I’m depressed because I spent years of my life working my fucking ass off to get a degree in biochemistry from one of the top universities in the world only to apply to over 100 jobs and the only one I land is one I hate every second of doing, the work is literally useless, and in spite of being there over 40 hours a week I still don’t make enough to pay rent. The food benefits I get can’t even feed a german shepherd. I’m 23 years old with a college degree asking my parents to take me grocery shopping so I don’t starve. I’m not upset because of my mental illness I’m upset because I work my ass off only to be broke and miserable

quirky fourth wall breaking character but theyre just fucking. wrong about the medium theyre in. they keep making references to cinematic techniques and directorial styles and the other fourth wall breaking character is like "dumbass we're in a fucking comic book" and they are in a video game.

Well currently they’re in a tumblr post but I see your point

we're actually in a youtube video if this turns out to be funny enough