Bummy Homeboy

not only is it not friday it’s not even thursday. or wednesday

guy who gets a pepsi from the break room vending machine every day after his work shift & amiably says “gotta have a pepsi!” while grinning & passing it back & forth between his hands but one day the pepsi is sold out & he leaves the building robotically with a completely flat expression & isn’t seen at work again

if you're quiet as an adult they kill you

Job history includes taking care of the young the old the animals the horny and the dead

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

If you remember being a teenager you're a creep because you straight up saw yourself naked back then. The only way to be righteous is to obliterate your mind with drugs until you can't remember anything

[clearly experiencing symptoms of mania] oh i get it! im finally normal!

anti abortion propaganda that tries to like scare you into feeling guilty by reminding you that the fetus has body parts are so funny. "uwu please don't abort me I have eyes at 4 weeks old 🥺" nice try sucker I don't care if you see it coming