re-occuring dreams are NOT a sign

i want Things. i'm sorry marx

I've found that no one accent can fully pronounce both the T AND the R in "water"

If you saw me recreationally vaccinating homeschooled children with blow darts then you should be thanking me, no? Relax a little. Blow darts are cool

You are just jealous of my ethical human safari

family members are an extremist class that cannot be reasoned with

beginner kill yourself music vs professional kill yourself music

It's funny when Tumblr screenshots circulate other websites or you show one to someone who's not super online and they think they're supposed to pay attention to the usernames as a part of it so they get really hung up on the fact that a comment comes from a handle like "SloppyMuppetBalls" or "werewolf-smegma-collector." No not that part. That's the normal part. Don't laugh at our dear friend ClownHoleSlurper I'm trying to show you their insightful takes on economics

learning how to drive in america is like a fucking saw trap.

hello teenager. in front of you is a 2 ton chevy trailerblazer. you can either start driving, putting yourself and those around you in immediate danger, along with causing you great anxiety, or you can spend your life aaking your friends and family to chauffeur you around town because you cant go butt fuck no where without a car. if you choose to drive, you will have to spend your life paying mandatory microtransactions for a mode of transport you hate. if you dont, you will have to ride the almost nonexistent public transport system and/or put yourself in grave danger by riding a bicycle down a 45 mph stroad. if you complain to anyone in your life about learning to drive a car, you get acid poured onto you. good luck.

The zipper merge requires a level of cooperation and goodwill that the citizens of this great country have never once displayed

Look, I understand that you're going through some shit, and you know I'll always support you, but I just had to fight your shadow-self in the kitchen. Yeah, I was getting breakfast and the enfleshed eidolon of your existential alienation was shooting, I don't know, some sort of beam.

It banished the Froot Loops to a far and sunless realm. I really wanted those.

#also i recognise that the self that walks in darkness is not inherently any more true than the self that walks in the light#but i've gotta ask: is there something going on that i should know about#like#pronoun-wise?