hell world

idk perhaps this is too early 2000s internet safety module of me but the amount of information you guys demand from each other is weird

i just got the "see where your blood has gone!" email from giving blood but it glitched and just showed me my current location. which. theyre not wrong. that is where most of my blood is

i was actually born as a CD but a wizard turned me into a human to teach me a lesson

*notices a blue dot on the horizon* ah!!!! me pengy *a bullet passes right through my skull*

if a counter-sniper catches even a WHIFF of her baja blast tittums then all of the blood in their body IMMEDIATELY rushes to their Penas & balls and it stays there. they will drop dead in seconds

i will defend that fictional teenage girl with my life. i literally don’t even care what she did. you would’ve done it too if you were her she’s probably handling things better than you would in her shoes

repeat after me: people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it. people don’t notice the little details. i’m going to get away with it.

the thing about het romances is most of them are sexist so even tho i’m meant to root for them ill spend half of it thinking he shouldn’t talk to her like that

sometimes i think i can probably pass as masc and maybe even as a straight guy but any time i engage in conversation with a kind stranger i have a demeanor not unlike a princely rich girl archetype in a 2000s manga and frequently extend my hand in an elegant manner which has caused a number of drunken individuals on nights out to kiss my hand as if i were a beautiful ojousama and not a greasy mechanic

(to the tone of creep by radiohead) but i'm asleep. on mypillow

what the honk am i shoo'in here

"Let the Gweilo play. He has nothing left to lose."