hi!! love your blog, wanted to send an ask, because you and your followers always make very interesting points regarding everything fandom related and such.
so I used to be (still somewhat am, probably??) a part of the "most fandoms are misogynistic because they are so male (character)-oriented, and if in ANY media you consume you only care about male characters, you should probably at least ask yourself why that is".
this is probably projecting on my part, because I grew up in a very misogynistic environment, and, personally, for a long time, didn't give a shit about fem characters no matter how well they were written/drawn, - to me they as well could be cardboard cutouts, because I fundamentally was unable to see women as people.
this is obviously a me problem, and I try not to project my experiences on other people, no matter how common these experiences may be.
obviously there is no right or wrong reason to like male characters and dislike female characters, and nobody owes you an explanation for their preferences so you can make judgment on whether they like your yaoi in the "right", god honoring way or whatever. and in the end, your taste in fiction is just that - your taste in fiction, it doesn't necessarily tells anything about you as a person.
but I can't help but ask myself, time and time again, this old ass question: why is this preference for male characters is so widespread in almost all fandom spaces, when fandom itself is so varied, full of people of different genders, sexualities and backgrounds?
If it's not misogyny, when what is it?
A lot of people started out liking m/m because it was at least queer, then finally found f/f they liked and "graduated".
They come back with the passion of the newly converted to preach to the rest of us.
The trouble is, this is exactly like every other time the newly converted are the Very First College Freshman To Ever Discover Philosophy or any other such case.
First, the people you're talking to might turn out to know a million times more than you. Their apparent apathy might be because they're so far beyond the discussion level you're at. (Not just you specifically, but every college freshman who was ever That Person.)
Second, the fact that you find femslash or Christianity or freshman philosophy class deeply emotionally fulfilling does not mean that everyone else will also find it equally fulfilling. If you go too far down this route, you end up in the JKR place where "I was a tomboy because my dad wanted a boy" turns into "You must be a trans man because you hate womanhood because your dad was like my dad".
You can ask why other people find m/m or atheism or whatever fulfilling. There's an interesting conversation to be had.
But when you assume, you just sound like a dumbass and, often, a bigot.
That's the first thing to understand. Slash fandom tends to be pretty queer, so a decent number of slashers are, like me, bisexual women. It's going to be a rare bi girl who didn't go "Jeez, why don't I like femslash more?" at some point.
Coming in and going "HAVE YOU CONSIDERED?!?!?!" is basically poking a bunch of people right in their biggest insecurity.
Not everyone feels bad about it, of course, but a lot of people do. They try to change what they're unconsciously drawn to and it does not work.
Why the lizard brain likes men so much is complex and varies, but some common reasons include:
Oops, turns out I'm not a girl.
I don't want to deal with the baggage society inflicted on me as a woman right now.
I identify far more with my bisexuality than my gender. Can you stop pretending everyone identifies with gender first, radfem lite?
There are great female characters in media, but they're rarely in the genres I like and/or they're not the horny one, the class clown, the brutal fighter, etc.
Casting directors are allowed to hire men I find hot. Actresses are all a desolate wasteland of size zero, ultra feminine, hetero catching-a-man makeup looks. Where are my butches? Where are my femmes who look queer? Where are my silver foxes? Where are my ladies with an average waist size?
We've discussed that to death, so I'll leave it at these representative examples. I don't think this is nearly as relevant, however, as the false assumptions that underpin the question itself.
AO3 looks nothing like other spaces.
What the actual fuck are you talking about with that "almost all fandom spaces" garbage? AO3 is riding that dick hard because it was founded by fujoshi.
FIMFiction is full of dudes who love cartoon lady horsies.
Stop hanging out in fujoshi spaces and ex-fujoshi, I've seen the error of my misogynist ways spaces and go find the rest of fandom.
A few years ago, I got shipping stats for FFN and Wattpad because I was so mad at how many little whiners had been too coddled by the archive I helped build to understand what fandom actually looks like. This required hand-classifying thousands of fics. I have not repeated the experiment. I hoped other people would do it to check my work, but of course, it was too much effort when people want to just say "Fandom only likes slash" whether or not it's true. Here's what I got at the time:
A.O.3. Looks. Nothing. Like. Other. Spaces.
Het counts as liking female characters.
I know you didn't deny this above. You only said that fandom focuses on men, but... does it?
For everyone drooling over Edward and using Bella only as a placeholder, there's someone who ships Reylo because they're obsessed with Rey and think her most interesting tension was with Kylo. Or, hell, someone who actually likes Bella. Plenty of the readerfic spaces include people who flesh out the female reader and like her as a character. OFC-writing spaces often like each other's OFCs.
Fandom is varied, your reference sample isn't.
That's really what it boils down to.
Yes, the biggest fandoms tend to come from media with audiences in the hundreds of millions, and because society is sexist, the important characters tend to be men, and where there are important women, all of their important relationships tend to be with men. That may skew things a little if you only look at the biggest fandoms, especially on AO3, home of slash.
There's still plenty of media with interesting female characters, and many fans seek it out and do fandom about it.
If you go look at Witcher game fan art, it's all dudes making horny stuff about Ciri because they love Ciri. If you go look at SpaceBattles, there's little m/m and plenty of plottier stuff focusing on a heroine.
If you're like most people who ask this question, you only know two kinds of fans: fujoshi and ex fujoshi with a chip on their shoulders.
Fandom is a lot bigger than that.