In the oasis of my mind

i say this with only love in my heart but i have the increasing suspicion some of you experience your dashboard exclusively by letting an amateur mime perform all text posts as some form of interpretative shadow theatre in front of a flickering neon lamp and dictating your replies based on that because that is the only thing that could explain the magnitude of the breakdown of communications that regularly occurs in my mentions. no offense. to you or to the mime i am sure they are doing their best given their lack of training and such adverse circumstances

People love to ask if I'm enjoying my job as a field archaeologist but then when I say "Yes very much, I excavated a children's grave today!" They have the audacity to look at me like I'm the weird one

Someone mentioned how they were having a hard time creating a world for their fantasy fiction geographically because they kept reinventing the island of Britain, which also happened to my good close enemy George R. R. Martin. I would like to suggest North Carolina. I know that sounds absolutely ridiculous but North Carolina has an awesome geographic setup for a fantasy kingdom, I think. Inhospitable barrier islands, constantly shifting shoals in the sound, swamps with alligators, venomous snakes and carnivorous plants, lots of very flat and somewhat sparsely populated farmland, foothills, mines, mountains full of mysterious phenomenon that were originally very difficult to navigate and people still get lost in today. It kind of rocks.

Hey, can I borrow someone's executive function for a minute? I ran out and I've been putting off answering this email for two weeks because in my head it has become an insurmountable task that has taken on a life of it's own and now looms over me, shrouding every thought and action in an all consuming sense of dread.

Then again, if it was given a lifetime guarantee and both parties are still alive, grandpa might have ground to stand on.

the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy is such an encouraging book to read as someone who likes to dabble in writing once in a while because the story is absolutely batshit crazy and features multiple extremely unlikely last minute saves for the main character who seem to be in an inescapable situation, and not in the “how did I not see that coming? Genius foreshadowing!” Way but the “how the fuck did that even work out? Anyways-“ within like, 120 pages. I once quit a sci fi story because of poor planning and accidentally leaving a human character stranded in outta space without any protective gear or possible last minute safe and was like fuck, my guy is fucked, there’s no way I find a solution for his survival that won’t be incredibly pretentious and random and look like poor planning so I just, gave up, with my main character dying in space. And this book faces the same scenario but goes, oh well but what if a super super rare mega spaceship that they have no previous connection to suddenly shows up and beams them on board where they meet the president of the entire galaxy and his hot situationship, and it’s like, which bbc writer in the 70s pulled that solution out of their ass and presented it as an entirely possible thing to just happen, like what the fuck, but the story is so insane and the next scene is so captivating that you don’t even care that much. And they’re not doing it once but twice Whitin the thinnest book I’ve ever read, and it works?

it must be so freeing to be as stupid as a ceo. not a single thought echoing through that hollowed out skull. you get paid more money in 20 minutes than a handful of small countries make in a year combined to say the biggest number you can think of and if your company doesn’t hit that number you get to fire all of them

One thing I love putting in my fantasy and scifi that so many stories I read don't have is superstitions that are just wrong. Astrology type shit. Wizards being assigned an elemental type that's supposed to determine their personality just because that's how it's been done for centuries because ages ago people believed in it and these days people are like "no of course it's a silly superstition haha" but still glance knowingly at your metal type tattoo when you're being headstrong. Societies who believe that the stars determine your destiny because see, this kid was born under the star that indicated intelligence so we pushed her in school and got her special tutors so she could live up to her potential and look, she IS more academically successful than her peers born under other stars! People talking about their religion in the far future and all the side characters are like "that sounds like fucking nonsense" and they're like "no it's TRUE" and the audience is like 'no that's nonsense'. I love inventing shit for characters to just be totally wrong about.