I'm not soft

everyone needs to have an oc that would've hit hard when they were like 13. im talking tortured in a lab, elfen lied type shit. its good for the soul

Do y’all think siblings in medieval times would look at the little beasts in illuminated manuscripts and point at each other like ‘ha! ‘Tis thou!’

Oh that's WONDERFUL. I LOVE him!

that name isnt "literally unpronounceable" its just not english and im going to fucking kill you

at this point i wish i could obliterate harry potter from cultural consciousness i hate hearing positive and even neutral references to it. find a new thing

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

one time i walked into God’s room when He wasn’t expecting me and He was kneeling by the foot of His bed praying. tf. who was He praying to ..?

dei cubiculum quondam intravi dum me non exspectaret et ad pedem cubilis orans genuit. qf. cui orabat ..?

this is good because maybe there are medieval priests who wanna read this one

hit gelamp sume dæge þæt ic ga in godes rom þa he ne min wende and he cneowlode æt his beddes fet him gebiddende. þf. to hwam gebæd..?

motherfucker stop translating my post into the common vernacular and distributing it out to the peasantry

guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent

lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

You're failing.

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

ares is the god of war, not kratos

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

Eris dangling this concept in front of OP like "make the post, it'll be so funny. You know the name of some greek gods, you can do it."

op I'll give you a golden apple if you name the hottest goddess

gay tumblr artists only personality quiz: what color do u use to sketch before u outline

@jimmyhoffathecat bros got competition now

@jimmyhoffathecat

Times change. People don’t