nathan

the look of a pure menace

anyway, fiscally conservative people are just as bad as socially conservative people. both schools of thought are rooted in pure and absolute selfishness and being fiscally conservative isn’t somehow made better by the fact that you’re socially liberal. i mean thanks for not wanting to stone gay people and all but ur fine with poor people dying cause they can’t afford healthcare so… weird flex 

The party, pointing to an NPC that the DM never intended to be a recurring character: That’s My Child Now

The first dungeon-boss that my group was meant to just quickly kill at the end of their very first session, they saved from death. Repeatedly. She’s now a reoccurring character who despite the fact that she is defs evil and showing no signs of redemption (yet) they keep. Saving?? So I guess I’d better write a redemption arc?

I love your players so much. I’m imagining Local Villain turning good mainly out of confusion because why they save me tho????

We’ve adopted our first small villain to the party as a DMPC. During the interrogation he suddenly bursts into tears, says the villaining was his last desperate try to unfuck his life and now we can do whatever we want with him, cause he’s done. He’s out of ideas and his life is still fucked up. The whole party went all “aaaaww there there pat pat poor thing” and now he’s our token pretty boy and an in-game DM’s snarky voice.

We found a 20 ft cube of gelatinous acid in the underdark. He wanted to see sunlight. He was perfect. So he became part of our party. He’s slow so he always follows behind us and every now and again he has a few new skeletons inside of him of the fools that tried to sneak up behind us. He’s my favorite.

I love this. I support you and your sun-loving acid dog

@iamnamedsilence

this is an actual show

ds9 is the exemplar of the wretched nerd pit that is star tracks

dumbass solidarity babey!!!

eternally amused by the terribly inaccurate placements of NYC. you’re doing great sweeties!!!!

Intense giggling omg

…that last one, though. I. Just picture the people and reputation Florida has, but put it in New England, instead. 

Like if it wasn’t obvious that dumbasses like jacksepticeye, jontron, markiplier and pewdiepie all exist within the same circle of people and have a distinct interest in keeping each other at the top before, it should be now. And they’re all shit, each one of them. I don’t know if jack or mark said nasty shit like jon or felix did but the fact that they STILL support them, that they STILL actively shill for them shows that they are at least ok with supporting white nationalists if it means staying popular. I havent watched mark or jack in a while, but my young [below 15 yr old] brother does and it makes me so fucking mad that these dumb, uncaring fucks are willingly funneling kids towards racists like jon and felix for big bucks.

I get it, I used to be super into mark and jack and all of these folks but you HAVE to not let your rose-tinted glasses get in the way of the truth. Felix and Jon are racists and nasty, Mark and Jack actively profit from supporting them and their actions. I don’t care if they don’t actively say this shit, this is what they mean. Take it or leave it.

op you’re right and i would die for you

4) as @zombriekid pointed out, mosquitoes will also feast on the bountiful buffet that you’ve offered to them while you’re trying to smash. you know what isn’t sexy? malaria. 

Who wants rocky mountain spotted fever or West Nile virus? Not me.

You’re totally good because the coyotes go fucking NUTS in our pasture at night, they never shut the fuck up 

really wanna live in a peaceful seaside ghibli town with ambiguous european architecture and bakeries and maybe a field right outside of town where i can have picnics with the love of my life tbh

*whispers softly but with feeling* what the fuck

Develop a roomba that reacts to being petted and you’re going to make bank with millennials

I loathe how badly I want this.