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interview with the masquerade

vampire: the vampire

Crazy how many people want characters in fiction to speak and act like they’ve had 20 hours of intensive therapy. Could NOT be me I want these bitches fucked up insane

i think the joker should start talking like this for real. no other character should do this only the joker. i want batman to have to deal with this

Would you be comfortable with me sharing the story of how I got these scars

That would have been an incredible episode of Batman: The Animated Series, though. Joker gets out of Arkham, having convinced the psychs he's rehabilitated by speaking in fluent Therapy. Bats spends the entire episode losing his mind, because he KNOWS it's an act because NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT and Joker reacts with total calm and understanding when he finds Batman in his pantry at 2AM. "You're violating a boundary right now, but I realize this behavior is caused by a history of trauma. Can we talk about how your inability to trust negatively affects those around you?" Meanwhile steam is just coming out of Batman's ears

Are you in the right headspace to receive information on you potentially being overserious?

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

I’m obsessed with my 19 year old coworker. I was telling him about how my crashout divorced dad got a sugar mommy by going to random churches and having screaming sobbing breakdowns in the pews until a random rich christian widow was like ‘I can fix him’. And he went ‘yo thats tech. The meta is changing.’

When I die I wanna be resurrected as the crab in the bucket of crabs that pulls the other crabs back into the bucket. And I'll love doing it

if i could die i would wanna be resurrected as a crab strong enough to pull your crabsona out of the bucket. and then where would you be