Folkloric Ramblings

Detective: "I thought about that as well! But as you can see from the bullet wound, it was clearly done posthumously."

Assistant: "Remarkable find! But why would someone shoot a corpse?"

Detective: The victim was murdered in the lounge actually so i don't think there should have been any ink there at all

Drinking horn with gilded copper mounts, Europe, 15th century

I’m just curious how many people at some point in their lives have played/learned to play an instrument of any kind.

I included a nuance button bc I know there might be some folks who might be like “well I played the recorder in grade school but idk if that counts” — count it if you want or hit nuance if you’re unsure! 😊

To be clear, if you studied an instrument to any level of proficiency, even if you’re out of practice now, please select yes!

When Co-workers do things like ask about weekend plans, chat about non-work topics, eat lunch in the same room, they are--subconsciously--reaffirming that they are part of a cooperative (or, minimally, non-antagonistic) social group.

The other primates cement social bonds by grooming each other; we do it by making small talk.

If they solicit your participation in these rituals, and you repeatedly refuse those bids, you are marking yourself out as, at best, an outsider to the group, and thus potentially antagonistic.

This is all happening on the monkey-brain level; they have no idea what they're doing or how they are interpreting your response, so there's no way to clear up the misunderstanding.

To the ape sleeping in your co-worker's DNA, either you are part of the grooming circle, or you are an outsider who, for all it knows, may be coming to steal all the bananas.

at some point, either in response to an invitation, or just in the natural course of conversation, you can add in that you are a "quiet type" who "needs their silence" or what have you. customize to your personal needs. i find it helpful to imagine a well dressed elderly woman describing the sort of peace she needs to manifest.

roughly once a week if you see a group of people chatting, engage with them. keep it pleasant. it can be superficial. word will travel that you are Nice and Quiet and Not The Chatty Type protecting you from group lunches etc. if you have an office with a door that you keep closed a lot, putting up any kind of decor will also send positive signals.

It means my coworker is more likely to feel safe enough to tell me "Can you take over my shift tomorrow?" and I'm more likely to say "yes" even when I don't want to, because I care about his well being and he also takes over shifts for me when he doesn't want to.

It means my coworker is more likely to ask me for help if they experience sexual harassment at work, or if they think they're being underpaid, or if they're actually very lonely and need someone, anyone, to go to their Mom's funeral with them.

Your brain is a 25-watt computer.

This is now your Pokémon Partner. Whatever you would want to do in the Pokémon world, your Result goes with you. It would be your Ace in Battles and/or contests or they might just help you around with your regular Not-Inherently-Pokémon Job or just hang around your house as your beloved Pet. If you really really want to BE a Pokémon than this is the Pokémon you just turned into.

Don't be fooled by bullshit like Turbotax. If you make less than $89,000 a year (I'd say confidently that's 99% of Tumblr), you are entitled to use the IRS free file tool for your taxes. This page from the IRS lists all the software providers they have partnered with to provide this service. I have only used one on the list, but it was as good as or maybe better than Turbotax, and I repeat, free for the federal tax return. You MIGHT still have to pay a fee to file a state tax return, but it should be nominal. If you don't want to do it online, you can also go to the IRS to print out the forms directly and turn them in.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: Can't, got a PTA meeting.

Demon Queen Eluria: Friday?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: A birthday party.

Demon Queen Eluria: Damn. How about I fill just the mayor's heart with hatred then?

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: That'd be redundant, lol. Maybe fill his heart with a desire to fix the fucking potholes?!

Demon Queen Eluria: LMFAO love you, bitch. Stay strong.

Wonder-Sparkle Princess: You too, gurl. How's the husband? Still dead?

Demon Queen Eluria: Yep. Thanks for that, btw.