I am one (1) american away from switching away from posting in english. Finnish only or perhaps also the worst french you've ever seen.

Just once it would be so fucking cool to be able to handcuff myself into something that I can't break myself free of, and kick the key just outside of my own reach, while being able to 100% fully trust that I'm going to be found and rescued from the stupid-ass situation I put myself in. Just as soon as the key is off my reach for good I'm gonna go "well fuck now I'm stuck here staring at walls for the next 16 hours. Why the fuck did I do this. Glad I thought to take a bathroom break before doing this."

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

jerking off is gay because you’re the same gender as yourself

love the word fruitless. arguing with you is like if there was no apples involved whatsoever

you're bountiless you stupid bitch

the worst part about cardio is the laundry

“ancient Greeks exercised naked for spiritual or sexual reasons” no they exercised naked because they didn’t own automatic washing machines

sometimes on the tumblr app you click on an image to see it fullscreen and it will give you a completely different image it has sourced from the fucking aether. i hope they never fix this because i got flashbanged with an image of scooby doo calling me a ‘raggot’

the hidden desire to post hole on main