i passed away in 1992

you can't even say stuff like "I hope I die immediately" without someone expressing concern. cancel culture gone too far

They asked if I was giants I said bitch I might be

some people like to get mad at disability benefits because they think its unfair people who dont work get a payout from the government while they have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week. but if you tell them "yeah that sucks i think you should also get a universal allowance and not have to work 50 hours at the human suffering factory every week" thats apparently the wrong answer.

when i was but a wee babe the wet nurse accidentally dropped a sufferingberry into my open mouth and thats how this all got started

a pit of dread forms in your stomach as you parse my "evil baby on board" decal and realize you have a moral duty to rear end my vehicle as hard as you can

there are many fat gay women which is basically awesome

clap. clap for fat gay women

yo wait my gf likes me??? that's sick as hell i didn't know they could do that

i am as white as a white american can get and the thought of using the white color emojis sickens me to the bone. bitch if you dont make me simpsons yellow

if i was a pill designer i would make a pill that came in lots of different colors and had an m inscribed in the center. it would be circular and rougly 0.41" wide and 0.25" tall. it would also melt in your mouth not your hand. And its lethal

Ok, fuck, I’ll try falling in love with myself first. Ughhhhhhh

humans should be able to do a special Ultra Sleep after major life accomplishments where you're just out for like 32 hours or something and then you wake up fully refreshed in every way

it's been months and I'm still baffled by how this one-sentence post keeps getting so many responses that go "this exists except without the last part of the sentence"

there should be a tumblr without piss poor reading comprehension

we already have that except with piss poor reading comprehension, which i assume is like an extraneous detail rather than a major part of the point you're making