God's Lil Freak

I'm a Christian Practitioner. I dabble in Christian Mysticism, High Magic, Bibliomancy, and your typical 21st-century witchy practices like tarot and simple ritual, as well as being a proud harlot and heretic.

This blog is mostly for my bitching and sharing my Unverified Personal Gnosis, as a lot of my specific traditions and spells are held closely to myself.

I grew up non-religious, did a love spell at 14 (no, it didn't work, thank God), and eventually fell into Christianity and the craft at roughly the same time.

My faith and my craft are inseparable, so you'll often find those are intertwined in what I post. Or I'll complain about the state of the American Evangelical church. Depends on the day.

As a tandem to my "What The Fuck, Now?" period Mocktail,

"Hey so I actually need my period now" Mocktail

Active Ingredients:

Ginger: promotes muscle activity and bloodflow. Use sliced ginger or a store bought ginger tea. I don't see why powder wouldn't work, but it won't dissolve right and would be gross.

Parsley: stimulates the uterus. Side note: don't use parsley if you may be pregnant, even if you intend not to keep it. Side effects are largely unstudied, like most herbal medicine, and this could be dangerous. Parsley is a terrible abortifacient, which means it technically works sometimes, it is very likely to cause long term health problems for you, especially if successful.

Vitamin C: Also works for some menstruating folk. Can't tell you why this time, though. EmergenC, a supplement, or things high in vitamin C (cranberry juice, strawberry, etc).

Raspberry Leaf Tea: Just general uterine health. Works for some menstruating folk. Also don't consume if you may be pregnant. (Great for later stages of a pregnancy, not so great for early)

Ashwagandha: Some anecdotal evidence that this jumpstarted some people's periods, some that it actually made them skip. To me, an ashwagandha drink sounds gross but to each their own.

If you actually may be pregnant: stick to ginger and vitamin C.

Ingredient Ingredients:

New Moon Water: the new moon is the phase that corresponds with menstruation. I don't regularly keep new moon water in the house, so I'm using full moon water. Matching intention = better, but not required.

Chamomile/Lavender: For soothing anxiety. If you need your period to come early, it is probably causing some sort of anxiety. If you're late, it's probably causing anxiety. Anxiety ≠ normal menstrual cycle.

Rose Water/Syrup: Self love, sweetness, self patience.

Something bubbly: This is what makes it a Mocktail, ya'll! Sparkling water, tonic/club soda, soda, kombucha, etc. I guess if you're sure you're not pregnant, fuck it, champagne works too.

Instructions:

Brew a tea using your new moon water and any herbs/flowers/teas that need steeped. Allow to cool to room temperature. Brew strong, since we're diluting like a cocktail later.

Add all ingredients to a cocktail shaker or a mixing glass. Shake if your really want some aggressive "just fucking make it happen" energy, and stir if you want a calmer, more encouraging vibe. I'd stir clockwise to encourage release and movement. Shake for at least 10 seconds or stir for at least 30 revolutions, focusing on your intentions the whole time.

Strain into a nice glass of your choosing over fresh ice.

Top with your bubbly whatever and enjoy!

Wishing you the best and the most love on your period-inducing journey friends!

If you're interested in this because you're in the midst of a pregnancy scare:

Hi, that's me! I made a mistake with my pills and am in the limbo of waiting until a missed period. If you're worried about accidentally inducing a miscarriage, know that if you don't use the aforementioned parsley and raspberry leaf tea, and don't actively intend to, you'd have to be one hell of a witch to subconsciously do that. Basically, what I'm saying, is if you drink this and then have a miscarriage, it's what was already going to happen. Miscarriages are really hard to induce by accident.

1. Does being on substances make visions and revelations less valid/real?

A: Definitely not. In fact, if substances are what gets someone closer to God, they are welcome to continue those substances (unspoken subtext since Tumblr is the piss on the poor website: obviously not to their detriment, and if someone wants/feels like they should get off substances, of COURSE they should). She also adds that she will always give money to homeless people if she can/has it, even if that person may spend it on drugs, since 1. that's what they most need at that moment, and 2. the drugs may be what connects them more to the divine.

2. Did John trip balls on an island and write Revelation?

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good;

Seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.

Y'all are beefing with evangelicals, but they think Catholics/Orthodox are heretical too

A lot of times I see atheists and pagans* biting back at conservative evangelicals (rightly so) for the mockery of witchy, new age, or even just non-religious practices.

The heart is in the right place but, off the top of my head, these are the ones I generally see referenced:

Holy water, when our tools are mocked

Rosaries and saint medallions, when protection charms/bags are mocked

Smoke cleansing, when incense is used in Orthodox churches

Ancestor veneration, when Catholics pray to saints

The problem with the "oh so I can't ____, but you can ____?" argument is that the people yelling at folks for these practices are also yelling at Catholics/Orthodox/Non-evangelical protestants for these things too.

Evangelicals are typically VERY prescriptivist about what you can and can't do in worship/spirituality. Generally, the held belief is that if it's not mentioned in the Bible, you can't do it.

Communion, baptism, gathering as a church, tithing, corporate prayer, confession of sin, benediction (blessing), singing, etc; all approved.

My point: you can't convince an evangelical to respect the things you do because it's similar to something Catholics/Orthodox do. There's a good chance they (at least privately) hate them more than you, since as a "follower of Christ" they should "know better" (real thing I heard a lot).

That's not to say arguing these things is NEVER valid, because watching a civil argument is more useful for bystanders looking on than the person you're actually arguing with.

Think money spell that gets fired, but eventually gets you a better job. Sweetening spell that puts you and the target into a huge fight, which is the catalyst to improving the relationship on both sides.

That, but every. fucking. spell.