the root of all evil

i have this thing recently where i physically feel like i have to sigh and "reset" my heartbeat all the time and idk what this is

ive gotten to a point where i know i shouldnt expect other people to understand me or offer me comfort that should come from within but im just really confused on the structure of this therapeutic process, im just thinking about it and struggling to understand what im supposed to be getting from it. she said it herself that i have a need for my pain to be seen and validated so its like why wont she help me with that. i dont get it

honestly im still annoyed with my therapist for making this implication as if my family situation wasnt that bad and focusing on the more peaceful/sweet moments because i dont think thats productive for the kind of person i am with as many doubts and guilt i have as is

venting on reddit gets you replies like what if your abuser was autistic and dying from cancer and their dying wish was to abuse you

it looks like your resentment meter is about to fill up. to manage your resentment, go to needs > unmet and

i want to od so bad

even though im trying to relax with that i hate myself for not being able to stick with the spending limits i set for myself and make smarter decisions with my money

i dont even feel like booting up tomodachi life or doing anything, all i do is cry hysterically at these sessions recently

missed so many quick time events today. oh well