Meow.

happy 13th birthday homestuck !!

Character 1: hey can you pass me the (demonic screeching)

Character 2: (visibly disturbed)

With fanfiction you have the framework. You know the fandom and the characters. You know the recipe is for chocolate cake, and when someone says “oh hey this is good, it contains hazelnuts and orange”, you can go “that’s great! I love hazelnuts and orange” with the implication that you love them as chocolate cake ingredients.

Disney won’t let us bury on park grounds because of a potential copyright issue with the superman thing.

First of all: splash mountain is a water log ride. There are no places where it just…speeds…up? Its a fucking water log ride???

BECAUSE its a water log ride it DOESNT HAVE RESTRAINTS….it DOES however have a minimum height requirment of 46 inches to ride the ride, so EVEN IF this kid was too small, they WOULD NOT let them ride.

There is no asphault anywhere near the track itself. The CLOSEST you could come is the big drop at rhe end but again, minimum height requirement of 46 inches tall to ride, the angle of the drop and the speed at which you go it is physically impossible to get ‘launched’.

I feel like this is obvious but theres so much obviously wrong about the second addition i suppose i need to state this.

SUPERMAN. ISNT. DISNEY. Superman is DC. The only theme parks that have licenced DC character based rides is six flags.

Six flags, another park that HAS MINIMUM HEIGHT REQUIREMENTS for rides.

That has restraints on rides in which are necesary. Which again, YOU CANNOT RIDE IF YOU DO NOT MEET THE SAFETY GUILDLINES.

FOR LARRY WALTERS, WHO DREAMED SINCE HE WAS A CHILD OF USING BALLOONS TO FLY; WHO IN 1982 SPEND FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS OF HIS TRUCK-DRIVING DELIVERYMAN SALARY TO BUY SUPPLIES, INCLUDING ONE LAWN CHAIR, FORTY-TWO BALLOONS, AND A HELIUM TANK, WHICH HE USED TO INFLATE THE BALLOONS, ARRANGING THEM IN A RING AROUND THE LAWN CHAIR, A STURDY ALUMINUM TYPE FROM SEARS, IN WHICH HE LAUNCHED HIMSELF ALONG WITH HIS PELLET GUN AND WATER JUGS A THOUSAND FEET A MINUTE INTO THE CALIFORNIA SKY, WITH THE GOAL OF CLEARING THE SAN GABRIEL MOUNTAINS TO REACH THE MOJAVE; WHO AGAINST ALL ODDS FLEW, FROM A BACKYARD IN SAN PEDRO TO LONG BEACH, AN IMPERFECT MAN ON AN IMPERFECT FLIGHT PATH, WHO BROUGHT HIS CAMERA BUT DIDN’T USE IT; WHO, UPON HIS ARREST BY THE LONG BEACH POLICE, WAS QUOTED AS SAYING A MAN CAN’T JUST SIT AROUND…..

FUCK YES LARRY YOU DID IT BABY

The New Caledonian crow, who knows how to specifically build a tool in order to build another tool, never engages in play. These motherfuckers are smarter than some people with the right to vote, and they are Extremely Serious Birds. They don't have time to play, they got work to do and kids to raise.

And then there's the kea, straight-up titled "clown of the mountains", that has a specific vocalization for "playtime!". Scientists decided to try what happens if they play the Play Call for two fully-grown adult keas that are together in an area and can clearly see there is no other, third kea to make the call, and they just go "great idea, disembodied voice! it's TIME TO FUCKING PARTY!" and start wrestling.

I am perfectly happy working 8 hrs a day because I don’t have to:

grow my own food

find my own clean water

heat my house