Breathing sunsets and chasing rainbows

tinder link in bio.

*tapes scissors to my dick* why won’t anyone fuck me, edward scissordick?

I love going trough the notes every time bc there’s always someone in the notes insisting we’re all mean and that you can just wear thick dish gloves over your fake nails as if I wouldn’t assume you’re going to Patrick Bateman my ass if you walked into the bedroom with claws and yellow rubber gloves

her pussy

OUTTA MY WAY IM BOUT TO GE- ouchie. Ouch. Ouchie.

lesbians winning against 100% of all space false crime allegations

truly never getting over the greatest loss streaming services caused: the disappearance of DVD special features. behind the scenes, bloopers, deleted scenes, commentaries, I will never forget you, I will never stop missing you.

hey does anybody want to see my collection of slightly distorted pictures of cats as viewed through glasses

i think we should stop calling them baby names so people remember they’re not just naming a baby but also a future twenty seven year old with a resume

that's why bella called her kid resume right away

A pleasure to have in the labyrinth

THE CASUALNESS OF THAT COLLIE SLIPPING RIGHT OUT OF THEIR COLLAR. That dude is a Willing Participant of this walk and by god everyone else is going to follow the RULES.

im a fan of the moment where the husky is like 'wait you're not authorized to do that' and the collie is like 'THE FUCK IM NOT'

They should invent a type of flirting where I can tell when it’s happening

Welcome to my escape room. *places an affectionate cat on your lap*

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

for a second i thought you meant foundation like, a building foundation. not makeup

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth are building something great and terrible on the edge of town

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

reblog to Italian season your pussy

Nothing slapped my shit back into place like someone pointing out that the "genius gifted child with so much potential who got burnout and mental illness" is just the nerd equivalent to the jock "could have been a pro at sportsball if it wasn't for the injury".