Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night

the year is 2035. the new beauty standard is for women to cut their ears off, as ears are a masculine trait which make the face look too big and hearing isnt necessary as it doesnt align with being demure. evil feminists say perhaps this is unnecessary and ears are natural. women are agressively proclaiming they are cutting their ears off due to sensory issues

Large number of complaints about the modern world resolve down to "I want everything in one bag and I don't want the bag to be heavy"

I want the newest, coolest, shiniest phone they advertise on Instagram and it should cost $30 and be tiny and also huge and have every feature I could possibly want without thinking about it

I want my websites to allow me unlimited uploading of all data in high definition with zero lag or buffering, have every single person on earth available, with an easy way to see only the stuff I like and not anything I don't, for free with zero ads, with clear, straightforward moderation that gets rid of every Nazi and has zero false positives that also lets me tell random strangers and the people running the site to kill themselves, and I should be able to find it without doing any independent searching on my own because I'm too lazy to look for it

I want my girlfriend to have huge tits and a small waist and a fat ass and thin thighs and have clear skin and be a virgin and great at sex, likes all the stuff I like but not in the annoying way other people do, looks like she spends 3 hours a day on makeup and hair but takes up zero time in my bathroom, goes down on me but doesn't ask me to eat her out, has zero kinks except for mine, doesn't demand anything of me and is attracted to me for me, modestly hides her body from the public but also makes other people jealous when I'm with her, isn't crazy jealous but doesn't have any other guy friends, wants three ways only with other girls, and also she approaches me in public so I don't have to do anything to meet or woo her.

I'd do one about video games or food but the last few years have shown that people will talk endlessly about wanting shorter games with worse graphics made by people who work less hours for more pay, or wanting to pay $1 more for a hamburger if the worker gets paid more, and then immediately revolt when the cost of their bleeding edge console or burrito taxi goes up with inflation.

putting my hand up during sex to ask a clarifying question about the order you just gave me

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.