raelle crowe

Why is pet play always dogs anyway

Youre a dirty little goldfish arent you. daddys gonna clean your tank out so good so you have to wait in the sink until im done.

Apparently because you have no idea how to care for anything but a dog

Daddy is not known for his animal husbandry

"you wouldn't want that in real life" yeah i know it's called playing pretend, try to keep up

*walks up to a group of children playing raptor* you wouldn't want to be chased by raptors in real life, i say smugly with my vast knowledge as an Adult.

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

i can’t die but thank you :) im sure this information will be useful for someone who can

It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!

this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks

*in tears* Thanks kitty, I needed this...

what doesn't kill you gives you an extensive vocabulary and niche knowledge set that nevertheless fails to accurately account for what happened

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

the original? on my dash?

was going to make a post about an autistic barbarian who goes into a rage whenever they get overstimulated but i realized that that’s just gorgug thistlespring