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something stupid this way sucks

james ortiz looks like a muppet made a wish to be a real boy

Drives me up the absolute wall when people have on their dating profiles just "I like food, communication, and going places... 🥰✨️" okay???? me, I HATE food. im looking for someone with whom I can starve to death in a hole. in silence. if everything you have told me about yourself could also be said of like, a migratory bird, then what are we doing. what are we doing

Man kann ja über die deutsche Literatur sagen was man will aber Märchen haben schon sehr damit gekocht, dass der standard Abschlussatz "Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute." geworden ist. Großartige Anreihung von Worten. Ja, I guess wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute. Kann man nichts gegen sagen. Waren sie glücklich bis ans Ende ihrer Tage? Wer weiß! Aber solange sie nicht gestorben sind dann leben sie noch. Logischer Rückschluss oder so.

(via malunadean)

penultimate is such a good word. its like....maybe the second best word

there’s a connection between the numbing sprays for your feet so you can wear high heels and the anal desensitizing lube so you can have anal sex for your boyfriend and the suppressants for your gag reflex so you can deepthroat that same boyfriend. can’t quite make it though

to add to this: appetite suppressants so you can ignore your hunger signals, and that recent study that was going around that showed that women who self-objectify are less likely to perceive pain or the cold

The connection is self-objectification taken to the extreme. Making yourself into an object that can't feel pain, can't sense what's being done to it, just exists to be seen and felt and enjoyed by others. It's harder to make yourself into the abuse object that men expect you to be if your body is still able to warn you against it, so you have to turn off the warnings. Being a feeling and thinking and experiencing animal is incompatible with being an object that exists for the enjoyment of sadistic men, so the numbing agents help you convert yourself from animal to object.

stop signs were invented by octagons in order to have something to do