Oh Well. I Play The Cards Im Dealt

You've heard of the man, the myth, the legend. Now get ready for the woman, the omen, the portent.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Life seems to be moving fast because you live a monotonous reality. You need to escape the trap of the mindless routine before it consumes you. The last thing you want is to blink and realize you’ve lived a good chunk of your life in ways that blended all days together with a complete loss of time. Your life needs excitement, activities, quests, challenges, novelty on a daily basis. Life is not happening in your bedroom, head, or you phone. It is happening outside. Go live it, now.

Humiliated again…

Humiliated again 🤤🤤🤤

Well it’s not a good thing at all

Do any baddies want to come over and watch the anna nicole smith show with me? SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY

i think you are in America so i cant

I am the american psycho

man up and lez out

good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove......

the panties hit the floor

you know it brother

Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect

you know what i wish you would tell me

Being a flop changed my life. The world is not my oyster, I am glowing. I walked into a pole this morning. There's very little I wouldn't do for $1,000