“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive

So glad to hear she’s just drunk off her… whatever you call a pig ass. Haunches?

sometimes, when someone does a silly joke, and i respond to it sincerely, it is because i did not get the joke, and sometimes its because i am actually doing a joke myself. i like to call this "the autist's double bluff"

how tf am I supposed to be sexy during a pandemic

there’s something so special about falling in love with nature every time you see a little detail like a fallen leaf on the ground that’s slowly turning brown... or spotting a tiny mushroom that’s sprouting from a tree... or just getting a warm feeling when you see the moon, i’m in love with the little things of life

why must my analysis be supported by “textual evidence”? is it not enough for my arguments to be sexy and unhinged??

i am stupid for free. no one pays me to be this stupid and i think that’s very brave

god i hate being alive i just wanna die in a national park under mysterious circumstances 

ok im done being dramatic i finally started my homework and its not that bad

did you click on my blog expecting “jokes”?? Fool. I am the joke

Get that fucking salad out of my face, Jessica