I miss my weighted blankie

It’s YEE HAW Monday, everybody!

Ok, now it’s YeeHaw Friday. I need a little encouragement.

Do they count the times Max smacked someone WITH a reason?

I confess I did not wash my me yesterday when I posted this, but as of 12:45 pm today I am at last cleen woshed.

as much as I love portrayals of the sun and moon as a (lesbian) couple, the greeks were really on to something when they said "actually they're siblings who disapprove of each other's life choices"

i think we all peaked on the 21st of october 2014

happy anniversary

There’s no one around and your phone is dead

are you telling me americans have stores that open up SPECIFICALLY for halloween and just. dont exist any other time of the year. you people are insane

Imagine an empty storefront. Some business that closed years ago. The building stands empty, unused for literal months. And then boom. Fall comes around and there’s a Spirit Halloween. There’s no escape.

what the fuck 😁

Yeah this is a thing

Are you serious

Yes and they are divine gifts of beauty and cheap plastic lawn decorations.

… I honestly assumed that the existence of Halloween stores was just a running joke in American TV shows.

No they’re very real

Can confirm this phenomenon also occurs in Canada

It’s fun

Oh, it’s a blast.

Wait, so during non-halloween they are just empty? Like, they don’t switch between seasonal decorations (like christmas, easter, etc), they just…close and wait for next year???

So you’re telling me that every year for a month or two the Spirit of Halloween possesses a dead building then disappears?

that is exactly what we’re telling you

YALL REALLY DO BRING THIS BACK EVERY SEPTEMBER

I just noticed that September is spelled wrong

it’s the 17th of august

The thing is lads I cannot think of a better use for my tax dollars than feeding children. I want my taxes to give the single mother of three healthcare. I want my taxes to take care of the elderly and the disabled. I don’t care if they’re citizens or legal residents or whatever. I want my taxes to help people. Because we’re trying to live in a goddamn society. Instead my taxes go towards bombing schools and hospitals and refugee camps. Billions and billions sent to proxy wars. And still people quibble over whether we should feed children. What are we doing here. Feed the kids.

when i was really little and had just learned how to write my full name . i noticed my twin brother had really messy handwriting. while mine was like … as nice as it could be for a little kid. so i wrote my name in his handwriting on a wall and i waited to see who our parents would get mad at . and they blamed him. and that was when my life of crime began

all joking aside it’s really funny that like little kids do things like that sometimes . my mom would look at her phone everytime she was at a red light so i got into the habit of saying “green” once the light changed so she would know . one day i was like “i wonder if i say green while it’s red if she’ll go” and so i did . and she did . and i got yelled at real bad

though looking back on it what the hell was she doing relying on like a five year old . who was a chronic shoplifter and liar . for that . i’m surprised we didn’t get into more accidents

My mom is Deaf so when I was like 5 I plugged all the drains in the bathroom with towels & toilet paper and turned the bathtub and sink on full blast before we went out to go shopping cause I knew she wouldn’t hear it and I flooded the entire house for no reason

ok that is some nasty shit i can’t even believe the amount of damage that would’ve done 😭

kinda sick of all those posts that are like "my ancestors were surviving starvation and the plague meanwhile i get nervous ordering food at restaurants". as if jauffrey the woodworker didn't fumble his conversation with the fine maiden running the fruit stand and then tripped on a pebble as he left in a hurry

Once you exit the womb, you can use the left stick to walk around and explore your surroundings. You can press A to jump, allowing you to access higher places. Try jumping onto the doctor's cabinets