wrong again

So that post may have saved my life and it may have made my treatment a lot easier too.

twenty-five (!) years later I came out as a trans man.

now. the important thing to know about my ex-husband is that he loves nothing more than 1) horrible puns, preferably bilingual ones; 2) terrible dad jokes; and 3) committing to the bit until the end of time. he absolutely lives for Shenanigans and Japery. i do not know how his long-suffering wife puts up with him, but they've been married for more than 20 years so presumably she manages.

so, to break the news to my ex, i texted him. the exchange went something like this:

me: "great news, i'm a trans guy now"

him: "oh, congrats!"

me: "thank you. now for the better news: I insist you refer to me henceforth only as your ex-husband. do you accept this challenge?"

and my cis, straight-as-an-arrow, lives-in-the-midwest, married-to-a-minister ex-husband was like

hi sorry uh. incredible miscommunication on my part lmfao.

Flag Spaffing Cunt vs Count Binface

It's not without precedent. In 1997, the Conservative MP for Tatton and all round tosspot, Neil Hamilton, had a scandal in which he received money for taking easy questions. His constituents loathed him. 1997 was the year of the general election in which Labour and Lib Dem candidates would stand against the Tories in what was considered a very safe Tory seat. But then BBC War Correspondent Martin Bell announced he would stand as an Independent candidate running only on two policies: he wasn't Neil Hamilton and he would only stand for one term. The Labour and Lib Dem candidates withdrew leaving Neil running only against Martin.

Martin Bell won that election with a majority of over 11,000 votes and a swing to Independent of 48% away from the Conservatives.

Defeated, Neil Hamilton was ejected from the Conservative party and fucked around until 2011, when he joined UKIP, the party that gave us Brexit run by...you guessed it...the cunt that's now running against a bin.

Martin Bell served one term, as promised, and vacated the seat in 2001 at that General Election. He went to another constituency where another Tory MP had been accused of dodgy dealings. He didn't win, but he did come 2nd, after which Mr Bell retired from politics saying that "winning one and losing one is not a bad record for an amateur."

"We know it looks like a butt plug, just drink the water, it's hot outside"

Nope. It’s real.

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between.