I Just Want Universal Adoration

Nothing but respect for my president

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

Homeopathic holy

It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: we have two flavors of pope water now, Benedict XVI and Francis! My little sister who lives in Italy went to the Vatican last week and got my mom some Francis water. Needless to say, I will be mixing the two of them to see what happens. (Answer: nothing will happen, but it’ll be extremely funny to me. Supercharged waters of the papacy.)

before and after you told them they were beautiful

}why did they ever do that to the cowboy one look at him he is the epitome of majesty and charisma I’d trust this sheriff with my life{

one of them isn’t even a cat

i hit the blunt and immediately feel like a content aware scaled black cat

get scrinkled idiot

I love predictions of the future that oscillate between "eerily prescient" and "what the hell are you talking about?" Like that description of the year 2,000 written in 1933 where the author predicts flatscreen television, the glass wall trend in the homes of the wealthy, and the obsolescence of stuffed mattresses, but is also convinced that normal showers will be replaced by a device called the VAPOR LANCE that VAPORIZES the DIRT on you

Sometimes Apollo hits writers with prophecy and sometime it’s Hephaestus trying to make a pitch for his new product

@one-time-i-dreamt but forgot right away

Big fan of Chris Pine refusing to put any effort into promo for Don't Worry Darling but waxing absolutely poetic about the Dungeons and Dragons film and how the game really brings people together.

“don’t worry darling” darling everyone’s worried

I like how everyone's back in their Chris Pine era it feels like 2009 is back nature is healing you guys