gmornin yall

i literally cannot convey how long i fucking laughed after i realized that boobytrap backwards is partyboob

i really hope that this does not end up being the text post that defines my entire tumblr career

I hadn't heard of StandardEbooks.org but according to their webpage, apparently they take public domain texts like those from Gutenberg (which are usually scanned from paper, OCR'd, converted to plaintext or HTML, then to epub, with varying levels of proofreading) and run a professional-quality cleanup on them, including fixing typos introduced by the OCR process, adding a table of contents and the full functionality you'd expect from an epub by a major publisher, then release those epubs also into the public domain and host them on a Git repository so that readers who spot typos or issues can submit additional corrections. Sounds like a cool project

Every day I get a little closer to saying fuck it and becoming an apprentice in some at risk heritage craft or profession.

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it

I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally

Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere

Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it

group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.

I had a dream that I went to heaven and heaven had its own heaven-exclusive tv shows that were written and produced there in heaven and they showed me the most popular show in heaven and it was this really beautiful drama and, at the end of the episode, the credits said “Created by Mike Ehrmantraut” and they were like “oh yeah. fictional characters who die in earth media go to real heaven” and I’m like “sure but mike did some pretty fucked up stuff, wouldn’t he go to hell?” and they’re like “no, all the fucked up things he did were fictional. people only get judged for the real things they do and the only thing mike really did was bring joy to millions of viewers” and i think that’s beautiful

problem i have is whenever i read write say or hear "sugar baby" my brain is like oh yeah, i know what that is! pretty sure we can reliably derive meaning for this term based on other definitions that precede it in our internal lexicon, like "sugar glider" and "bush baby". we are definitely talking about some kind of small arboreal marsupial with large eyes. it's probably not ethical for this wealthy patron to be keeping one as a pet