My Home Is In Your Heart

didn’t even realize it was a bot because this interaction is so human

tumblr is trending on twitter EVERYONE HIDE

my role on tumblr dot com is to scroll through thousands of posts and only reblog the good ones for you to see like your personal tumblr pasta strainer

are there video games for men

Gas station gas's pump screen

is pepsi ok

‘i guess’ i said sulking, my amber hued orbs peering down because of gravity

‘ok.’ i hand you seven large cokes and a pepsi

e me a mail

I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night, where the Spanish moss drips from the trees like lace, and honeysuckle buds perfume the air. Sticky, glistening skin. Sultry and forever.

and fifty dozen mosquitos are sucking your body dry and cicadas scream so loud you can never sleep and watch where your honeysuckle ass steps or you’ll plant your foot on a pissed off copperhead

One person is from the south. One person isn’t. Guess which.

“I want to make you feel like a humid Southern night” is a threat

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

michael scott saying “not gonna make this one” and driving away after trying to parallel park in a space that could fit 4 cars is probably the biggest mood i have ever seen