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Anxiety is stupid because your brain will go ‘what if they kill me with hammers for talking to them’ and it’s people you talk to regularly who have never given any indication that they’d kill you with hammers
something that the show managed to touch on in its single season that i felt was underexplored in the books was how the problem has created generations of traumatized former child soldiers. there's lucy's supervisor drawing his rapier on her in the first episode when she goes to warn him that something's not quite right and startles him, coupled with his alcoholism. there's the agent lockwood knew who became a relic man when his talent started to fade and he was discarded by deprac once they had no use for him anymore. a really interesting expansion of what was already there in the source material, and it makes the problem even more horrifying.
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[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz
Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.
Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.
My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.
Called the county clerk.
Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.
Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?
Me: Yes, but he's a cat.
Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?
Me: He's a legal cat.
Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.
Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.
Clerk: You can file on his behalf.
Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."
Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."
Me: What's the medical reason?
Clerk: He's a cat.
Me: That's not a medical condition.
Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.
Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.
"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."
Took the letter to my vet.
Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.
Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?
Me: Excellent question. No good answer.
Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.
Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?
Vet: On what grounds?
Me: He's a cat.
Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."
Me: Perfect.
Sent it in. Got another rejection.
"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."
My roommate thought this was hilarious.
Roommate: Felix is going to jail.
Me: This is serious.
Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.
Decided that was actually the only option left.
Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.
Checked in at the courthouse.
Clerk: Name?
Me: Felix Martinez.
Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.
Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.
Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?
Me: I filed three. All rejected.
Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.
Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?
Me: Twice.
Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.
Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.
Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?
Me: You tell me.
Supervisor: This is a data error.
Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.
They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.
Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.
Me: Appreciate it.
Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?
Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.
Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.
For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.
Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.
Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.
Roommate: That's what they all say.
Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.
Fitting end to his legal career.
end id]
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do you guys also have favourite The Characters in-law. like characters from media you know nothing about but you just kinda like looking at them when your mutuals put them on your dash
you might be smooth but you’ll never be as smooth as Joe from The Princess Diaries sweeping the queen into a tango saying “you’ve been wearing black too long” in his most alluring voice
clewis, pre-canon. this started as a headcanon, then turned into a drabble, and landed somewhere between drabble and one-shot. pure fluff and pining and first kisses and 12 y/o nonsense.
Cleo sat on the sand, her knees pulled to her chest, watching the waves. She knew that any minute Lewis would show up—it had been low tide when she got there, but that was a couple of hours ago. The tide was running now, which was the best time for fishing. Lewis was sure to show up before high tide. At least no one else had bothered her. That was the appeal of this cove as a fishing spot. Only Lewis and his brothers ever came here. And Cleo. Apparently.
She didn’t know where else she could be alone, away from her parents and her sister, and even away from Emma. She felt a little bad about that one, but Emma just hadn’t understood why she was so upset. It wasn’t Emma’s fault—she tried to comfort Cleo the night before. Last night was Emma’s annual sleepover party, and that was where the problems began. The girls started talking about boys and kisses, and Cleo had stupidly admitted she’d never kissed anyone. Of course, some of the other girls made fun of her for that. Apparently being 12 without having kissed anyone made her a total loser.
Emma said it didn’t matter, but that was easy for Emma to say. Everyone knew she’d kissed Zane Bennett. Even if she did privately tell Cleo that the kiss hadn’t been particularly enjoyable. She still did it. She wasn’t a loser. She was cool. And Cleo was just her weird friend, who tagged along to sleepovers and hangouts and swim meets. But she wasn’t like the other girls Emma hung out with, the popular girls and the swim team girls. Cleo was just…Cleo.
She sniffed, brushing a few tears out of her eyes.
“Hey, Cleo!” Lewis’s voice echoed from the rocks. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to be alone,” she called back, trying desperately to keep her voice steady.
Lewis made his way down the rocks to stand next to her on the sand. “Are you alright?”
Cleo shrugged.
He sighed and sat down beside her. “What’s wrong?”
She shook her head. “It’s stupid.”
“C’mon, you know you can tell me anything.” He gave her a sweet, encouraging smile.
“I’ve never kissed anybody,” she admitted quietly.
He blinked and cocked his head to the side. “Okay?”
“So, that makes me a loser!”
He scoffed. “Says who?”
“The girls at Emma’s party last night.” She pulled her knees even closer to her chest. “Apparently everyone else has at least had a first kiss.”
“Cleo, those girls are just shallow,” he tried.
“Are they?” Cleo turned to look him in the eye. “I mean, we’re starting secondary school next year. I can’t be the only girl in high school who hasn’t kissed anyone.”
Lewis was silent for a moment, considering, before he came out with a solution. “You can kiss me.”
Her mouth dropped open. “What?”
“You can kiss me,” he repeated, firmer this time.
“Lewis,” she hesitated. She’d recently started noticing that her best friend was a boy—a cute boy, at that—and suddenly she wondered if maybe he’d noticed her, too. “Do you like me?”
His blue eyes went wide as oceans. “Oh! Uh, er, no, no,” he stammered. “That’s, I mean. I didn’t mean it like that. But I haven’t kissed anyone either, and this way neither of us would be losers.”
She tried to hide the sudden, expected wave of disappointment that crashed over her. “Oh.”
“It would be like practice,” he added. “For when you kiss someone you actually like.”
“Right.” She chewed her bottom lip as she took in his suggestion. It would solve her problems. And it would probably be bad, so maybe it would cure whatever weird feelings she was starting to develop for him. “Okay,” she said, finally.
“Really?”
“Yeah,” she nodded. “You’re right. It would be good practice.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay. Wow. So, how do we—”
“Lean in and tilt your head,” she told him.
Cleo thought kissing Lewis should’ve felt weirder. He was her best friend, after all. But it was actually kind of nice. His lips were chapped, but warm, and he didn’t press too hard. It was hard to breathe, but that wasn’t bad, either. She felt tingly all over, and like her heart was beating of her chest. It was hard to say if that was from the lack of oxygen or something else.
It wasn’t a long kiss, lasting only the time it took for a single wave to crest, and then it was over.
“So,” Lewis cleared his throat. “That was, um. Nice.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah,” he repeated. “I guess we’re not losers anymore.”
They sat for a moment in silence, the air between them thick with a new tension, a new awkwardness, that hadn’t been there before.
“I should,” she swallowed, pushing herself to her feet. “I should probably go home. My parents’ll be wondering where I am.”
“Right,” he followed her up. “And I came here to fish.”
“Thanks, Lewis,” she said with a slightly forced smile. “You really did make me feel better.”
“Of course, Cleo,” he replied, with an equally forced smile. “What are friends for?”
“Best friends,” she corrected, not knowing why the word friend caused such a pang in her chest. She loved being his friend. None of her emotions were making sense.
“Right. Best friends.” He smiled more genuinely this time. “I’ll see you around.”
“See you!” She turned away from him and took a big breath. Whatever she was feeling, it didn’t matter. Lewis was her best friend, and he always would be. And he told her he didn’t like her like that. So, it wasn’t even worth thinking about. Instead, as she walked back towards her house, she focused on the fact that she’d finally kissed someone.
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My problem is that I want to write, except when I'm writing I'm not reading, but when I'm reading I'm not painting, but when I'm painting I'm not crafting, but if I'm crafting I'm not meal prepping, but if I'm meal prepping I'm not exercising, but if I'm exercising I'm not cleaning the house, but if I'm cleaning then I'm not writing, and then the day ends and it was just ten hours of youtube while I tried to Decide.
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