you're evil like a hobbit

Armand got in on the ground floor of that 20 year old loser. kept checking in on him like he was proofing sourdough until he had a beautiful geriatric fag ready to go into the oven of vampirism and emerge the perfect companion. he saw Daniel sniffing around for coke at Polynesian Mary's and said give me fifty years I can make him the hottest guy you've ever seen. and Louis was just happy he was finally taking an interest in investment because it gave them something to bond over besides missing that blond man's pussy. like it's the only long con Armand has ever successfully pulled. hard work pays off in the form of a 70something boytoy who looks suspiciously like your evil father. i'm so proud of him. my weird bug.

1920s guy driving a model t with a "i bought this before ford went crazy" bumper sticker

Every day I am haunted by the fact that Jupiter Ascending was not based off of a million word space opera fantasy book series and that I cannot go to the library and take out like six door-stopper sized volumes of sheer unhinged gendervibes-y space werewolf bee queen batshittery where every new freudian space eugenicist villain talks like he's trying to eat the scenery's pussy out harder than the last guy. 😔