I’ve come to make an announcement: Cobalt the Transition Metal's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking calculations.
That’s right, he took his T2g fucking hybrid d-orbitals out and he pissed on my fucking calculations, and he said his crystal field splitting was THIIISS big. And I said “that’s dependent on a largely arbitrary choice of Hubbbard U constant!”
So I’m making a callout post on my Tumblr dot com: "Cobalt the Transition Metal, you got a small crystal field splitting, it’s the size of your spin splitting except way smaller."
And guess what, here’s what my crystal field looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All magnetoresistance, no anisotropy, no hysteriesis, look at that it looks like two plateaus and a cliff.
He fucked my calculations so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the conflict minerals market. That's right this is what you get, my super laser sanctions. Except I’m not gonna piss on DFT + U, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the Hartree-Fock!
How do you like that, Walter Kohn? I pissed on the spin-orbit coupling, you idiot! You have twenty-three hours before the coupled cluster Monte Carlo method hits the fucking walltime, now get out of my fucking sight before I quit grad school and interview at Raytheon!
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