Just some new twist to my clowning

might experiment with leaving blog search turned on for a week. any post >2 years old i don't endorse. apologies in advance for any tag spam that retroactively results

>than 1.5 years old really

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Everyone envies me for my shrimp lighter

You've heard of parallel play, now get ready for perpendicular play.

Hot cross buns?

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

now that’s what i call ineffective tumblr discourse! featuring such hits as “why aren’t you talking about this thing you didn’t know about”, “this 3-hour-old post has 20k notes instead of 100k clearly you’re all willfully ignoring it”, “if you don’t reblog this you’re a bad person”, & more manipulative bullshit that only exists to make the person saying it feel holier than thou!

terrifying when you watch a movie or a show or whatever & youre like that was fun but it felt a little redundant they didnt need to hammer the point home that much & then you go online & theres thousands of people going that was so weird i did not get it what did that mean google.com ending explained please?

like maybe i'm crazy but i don't think you should be allowed to keep twenty-one babies in your fucking mansion to be raised by an army of nannies even if they are not all obviously battered maybe i'm just freaking the fuck out for no reason but i think that should not be allowed i don't think you should be able to do that!!!!! IDK!!!!! IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Letting the ashes pile up til you start sneezin'

yeha this guy did have ~30 plastic boxes of unlabeled(?) cremated remains stored in like his attic that he forgot to send to the people. And only the one corpse in the hearse. But you do also have eg mortician hiding 20 straight up rotting corpses just in a room in the funeral home out of sight out of mind. But not out of smell