curiouser & curiouser!

literally every character in hamlet is living a horror movie of their own design

hamlet consigns himself to enact the vengeance of his father who can never love him for it anyway because he’s dead and who knows if it was ever murder anyway. ophelia finally decides her overbearing father is right and tries to make him happy by betraying hamlet but next thing you knows hamlet killed him and she goes insane wondering if it’s her own fault. gertrude married a man who is increasingly shown to be more volatile and untrustworthy before he tries to murder her own son and she dies as a result. laertes leaves home to escape but comes home and everything he left to escape has now been ripped from his unwillingly. the sins of claudius can’t be washed away because as dark as he knows it was he can’t part with what he’s gained, either. horatio watches everything happen knowing it will turn out badly but either he doesn’t know how to stop hamlet or he can’t bring himself to do it. either way it was always going to end badly. somehow the play was always going to end with hamlet dead

everyone is living their own horror movie EXCEPT polonius who is in a comedy special where his untimely death is just another punchline

life is so hard when you’re a very lazy girl by nature but you also want to do a lot of things in your one wild and precious life

Stop warning me about mature content I'm literally an adult

Ken was created from Barbie’s rib

i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith i’d call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him

“Look here pal, I know my religion, and this ain’t it. Whatever this guy is, they’re clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?”

obviously dietary requirements aren't a joke but my grandma sometimes runs errands for her church and i asked her what she's up to today and she said extremely seriously "ive got to track down the body of the gluten free christ, julia"

this totally scans for a swear intensifier btw. what in the gluten free christ is going on here, Julia