Untitled

I have another idea. What if you played for Ottawa?

Marlow was in Ilya’s hotel room after an away game. They had practice the next morning before their flight, so most of the older players had headed to the hotel instead of out on the town. Ilya had the tv turned to a movie channel, paying only vague attention to the Star Wars movie that flickered by as he waited for Shane’s text that he was back at home from his game that evening. At the commercial break, Ilya turned the tv to mute and let his head loll back against the head board, analyzing the aches left over from the game.

Marlow’s voice was low like a confession in the quiet room but it still surprised Ilya, “What if I’m not cut out for a real relationship?”

Ilya’s head turned to see Marlow’s expression, ready to laugh, but he found a look of true concern on his friend’s face and recalibrated. “What do you mean, Marley? Have you tried?”

Marlow sighed, sounding more defeated than Ilya had ever heard. “I mean— yeah? I think so? But I don’t even know, man. This is the third girl I’ve tried to get serious with in the last six months. And it’s only been a couple weeks but I can feel it slipping away again. I just don’t know how to fix it. We’re always on the road and I guess I’m a shit texter but even if I wasn’t— who wants to deal with a schedule this fucked?? But I’m 30 and I keep going to clubs like my dream girl will stumble drunk into my arms and surprise me with a happy ever after. I just don’t think it works that way.”

Ilya wasn’t sure what to say, or even if he was meant to say anything at all. Clearly this had been eating at Cliff for a while, and Ilya wasn’t even sure this was something he was qualified to discuss.

“Being 30 is not the end of the world, Marley. Your dick has not fallen off, and your face has not gotten any stupider.” Marlow huffed a little, but he had a smile on his lips. “There are lots of nice girls who would love to date a hockey player. Even St. Vic has had a girlfriend for several years! Clearly there is someone for everyone.” This actually drew a laugh, but Ilya was not done. “But maybe you should ask one of the guys who is married about how they got there? I’m not sure I’m the person to ask in this department.”

“I just thought…” Cliff started, but then paused, seeming to parse through a decision. “Well, you have been seeing that Montreal girl for all these years—“ Ilya tensed and started to defend himself, but Cliff waved him off. “I know, I know. But it seems serious with you two now, right? You aren’t taking girls home any more, and you’re always smiling when you check your phone. And I know I’m not supposed to know about her, but I just thought that if you had finally made it out of the hook up stage you might have some tips for me. I always figured you met her at a club or something, but you were always different about her than other girls.”

And suddenly, Ilya is torn. He had gotten permission from Shane to tell Marlow about them. Marlow clearly thinks that Ilya is in a committed, if secret and long distance, relationship and wants to know how he’s made it work. He tries to come up with a lie. A convincing one, not just a cheeky deflection, because his friend is being vulnerable and he doesn’t want to reject that show of trust. But then he lets himself imagine for a moment telling the truth. The relief of lying to one less person.

Before he has even really decided the words are out of his mouth, quiet but sure. “He is different from the girls I met in clubs.”

Ilya stops then, letting the words hang in the air as he can almost hear the gears turning in Cliff’s brain. He will start small, though it feels ridiculous to call coming out to an NHL player small. But Cliff had just explained how he saw Ilya’s joy about Shane. They were friends. Best friends, maybe. Could he really not accept that Ilya was happy with a man?

“How did you meet him?”

So it was that simple. There was a timid lilt to his tone that Ilya could recognize as unsteadiness. But he had acknowledged and continued. So here was the harder part.

“We met through the league.”

Cliff’s eyebrows scrunched as though trying to do complex arithmetic. When he didn’t add anything, Ilya pushed further.

“Did you ever notice that my Montreal girl was always in town when we played against Montreal?”

This was an admission, spoken with the hushed fear of a man on his deathbed. This was how the pieces clicked into place. All the smiles at his phone and the staring from the bench and the excuses to leave the hotel whenever they were in Montreal.

Cliff huffed in disbelief, “You’re in love with a staff member for the Voyageurs? Is he a trainer or something? A coach?”

Oh. Ilya hadn’t even considered a different conclusion, but it was true, there were actually lots of people who traveled with the team every game. Coaching staff, medical staff, media managers… and players.

“Something like that… He gets the schedule thing. Though I will admit, the only thing worse than one NHL schedule is two. I would not recommend this if you’re as bad at texting as you say. But when you find the right person, you figure out eventually that you have to make it work because not having them is worse than any compromise.”

Ilya can see that Cliff is looking at him now, really looking, as though seeing him for the first time.

“Do you think maybe he could come work for Boston instead? Cutting the scheduling down to half would at least help, and if he travels with the team in Montreal, he should be able to do so here too.”

Ilya smiled wryly, relaxing at Cliff’s obvious support. “I don’t know that he’d like Boston. Besides, there’s no way the pay cap would let us both pl—“

Cliff stiffened beside him and Ilya froze. He had not really planned on explaining further, but he had been so ready to joke about it that it had just slipped out. He wasn’t going to deny it though, so he just sat and waited.

Quietly, as though trying not to spook a bear, Cliff breathed “I thought you had a huge crush on Rose Landry. I was just sure that you two had secretly dated or something. I wouldn’t have ever thought…” he paused for a moment of consideration before continuing, “wait, was he fucking cheating on you???” There was a sudden measure of outrage in his voice as he spun to face Ilya.

The tension fell from Ilya’s shoulders for a final time and he started to laugh. It built and built until he was doubled over, laughing so hard he could hardly breathe. He only stopped when he saw Cliff’s face slide into hurt.

“Are you punking me, Rozy? I thought you were being serious about being with Hollander!” Marlow was upset for seemingly the first time in this crazy conversation and Ilya couldn’t allow that.

“No, no. I am not punking you. And he did not cheat on me. I was going to ask him out and he freaked out, ran off, and then started dating Rose Landry. I was furious and hurt, but it was not cheating. Not like that at least.” The hurt had slid back off his face, but Marley still seemed confused. “I just appreciate you being willing to defend my honor, though I think you did enough when you laid him out last year.”

He went chalk white, “Oh fuck, Roz. I could have killed your boyfriend! I wouldn’t have ever known!!! Holy fuck you would have killed me in my sleep!! I’m so fucking sorry holy shit please forgive me it was supposed to be a clean hit, we were just playing like normal!!”

Ilya laid a hand on his arm, “It’s okay, Marley. Shane’s okay, you didn’t do anything wrong. It was shit luck. It happens. It’s not like I don’t check him during games too, and he seems to like me just fine.”

Cliff seemed to relax a little, though he still looked stricken with guilt. Ilya was distracted as his phone buzzed with a text.

Jane <3 : Home! Shower then snack then bed. Can you call in like twenty?

He smiled as he read it. When he looks up, Cliff has a peculiar look on his face. “I’m glad you’re happy, Roz.” Sincerity. Ilya doesn’t see that from Cliff often, but that’s clearly what it is.

Ilya’s smile stays on his face. “Thank you, Cliff.” He pauses for a moment, deciding there’s been enough seriousness for the night. “Now get out of my room I have hot NHL super star to talk to about very sexy hot NHL super star things you wouldn’t know about.”

Marlow chuckles as Ilya starts to shove him off the bed. As he grabs his phone and his shoes he tosses back, “Should have known it wasn’t a trainer. You always shoot for as hot as they come, and no one is as hot as Hollander.”

“No!! I am! I am hottest NHL star! He is second hottest, so I must aim below my level because no one is above me. Do not forget!! And do not tell anyone. This is secret only for friends and you will keep it so that one day I can set you up with third hottest NHL star!” Ilya gestures wildly at Cliff as he follows him.

“Isn’t Scott Hunter already taken?” Cliff asks, grinning as he opens the door.

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Namaygoosisagagun First Nation/Collins has burned to the ground. The entire community is nothing but ashes after being quickly consumed by wildfires. They did not have any support from emergency services, and no one offered aid. The community saved themselves by escaping into boats because no one came.

Mishkeegogamang and Cat Lake have lost power. Families are ending up in shelters with nothing. Armstrong, Lac La Croix, Whitesand, Gull Bay, Lac des Mille Lacs are currently in the fires path and all members are being evacuated.

All this loss, all this devastation, and it was entirely preventable.

After steadily underfunding wildland firefighting and purposefully excluding Indigenous wildland firefighters and Indigenous wildfire organizations from wildfire operations, firefighter training, decisionmaking, and resource exchanges, in 2025, Doug Ford slashed the forest firefighting budget.

It's hard to ignore his decision to cut funding and leave us out of adequate fire training (even though we've lived with forest fires for thousands of years—far longer than settlers have been in Canada—and made sure fires like the ones we're all seeing today were prevented through kinisitotēn) when, despite making up less than 5% of the population, we account for 42% percent of all wildfire evacuations in Canada.

And when we are successfully evacuated, we face discrimination and racism—like Kashechewan—because it's always been easier to blame us than it is to blame the true culprit: denialism, corportate greed, and colonization.

The people of Collins and every other impacted community deserve better.

Right now, the AFN is currently accepting donations to help Collins First Nation. If you're able to, please consider donating.

ONWA (Ontario Native Women's Association) is another great place to donate to. They have outreach vans going to motels and inns and offering food, water, resources, and cultural support to those impacted by the wildfires.

Other places to consider donating to are Mikinakoos Emergency Fund, Red Cross, True North Aid, Indigenous Climate Action. You can also send donations directly to Whitesand First Nation via e-transfer ([email protected]) and they request that you add your full name in the e-transfer comment section to receive a tax receipt.

*Before sending money, verify that the appeal appears on an official First Nation, Tribal Council or registered charity channel.

If you can't offer financial support, please consider donating items of need. Moontime Connections is currently accepting drop-off donations. If you live in the Thunder Bay area, Namaygoosisagagun Health Office is also taking in donations! They can also bemailed to Superior Inn Hotel & Conference Centre at 555 West Arthur Street, Thunder Bay, ON, P7E 5P8.

items needed are: food, diapers, medical masks, men’s and women’s joggers (all sizes), children’s clothing (newborn to size 14), children’s shoes, summer clothing, men’s clothing, toiletries (lotion, Vaseline, toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo, conditioner, soap, deodorant, etc.), strollers, adult depends-all sizes, dog & cat food

eliott: i have a tragic history being entangled in the mafia and even now i could kill the most dangerous fighters without firing a gun

You have Parker, who has been designated as bad and wrong since she was a very young child and who has let go of any expectation of being anything else, so that identifying and doing what she thinks is the right thing is consistently an overwhelming and scary experience for her;

Then there's Eliot, who can point to exactly when and how he became irredeemable in his own eyes and whose highest ambition now is to do the wrong thing for the right people this time at least;

Nate, who is clinging to all of these ideas about morality and legality and good and bad that are completely inconsistent both internally and with his behavior, because his very normative view of the world was shattered and he never put the pieces back together in any kind of coherent way;

Sophie, who sees right and wrong as primarily about relationships between people, like she does everything else: right and wrong is in how you engage and who you hurt interpersonally, anything more abstract is irrelevant. But within that, there's also this weight to how she engages, this sense of regret at how she's treated people in the past that we never really see the full scope of;

The whole metaverse can no longer be properly viewed without an account and I am definitely not making one just to see your contact info or opening hours.

post season 15 dean/cas, where cas is back and human and dean is terrified that cas is gonna leave so he makes a sacrifice. he pretends he's in love with cas. says it, dotes on cas while he fakes being his boyfriend, has sex with him, all of it. and cas is happy :D

but dean feels guilty. because he's lying. to his best friend. and it eats at him. and finally, drunkenly, he confesses to cas that it's all a lie, he's faking it.

cas, instead of just leaving, somehow or other gets a truth spell (don't know don't care) and while dean is in a trance asks questions. because cas is confused. dean says it was a lie but it didn't feel like a lie. and all of dean's answer seem to imply that he maybe is in love with cas?

because he enjoys the sex (obviously). he enjoys having cas close. he enjoys the cuddling and the hanging out and the inside jokes and the smiling and the not-arguing. and yes when cas isn't around he feels awful and wants to die and just drinks all the time. has in fact maybe almost killed himself when he's thought cas was dead. and cas is his favorite person on earth and he wants him to be happy and is happiest when he's around and and and and

and cas is very confused. because again, this sounds like love (or something like it). and that's the thing dean doesn't have an answer to, even in this truth-enforced state.

"why do you think you're not in love with me?"

no answer.