Slipping the trap

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*

Key "evil praise kink" of the Cauldron kneeling over from just sucking poison out of a woman he now refers to as "Boss", getting turned on when she pats him on the head and turning his head into her hand like a dog YOU WILL ALWAYS BE REAL TO ME

Usually I find communication problems as the basis for a relationship somewhat annoying....in this particular case, though, the communication problems are "he is following her instructions to the letter while she is unaware she is giving instructions. And unfortunately, they are about murder" and it's SO funny

@halffizzbin not spiders or bees but tagging you in case it's still relevant to your interests!

some of y'all are in denial that you have a fetish and it makes me sad fr

Hey if you don't have a fetish but are on the lookout for one then I have a suggestion

and what fetish would that be user i-suggest-vore

Feet

Yes yes yes this scene thank you for the tag, heehehehe

It’s funny because this scene must be based on the memoir Special Agent by Candis DeLong. In it she describes being out looking at clothes at a department store on lunch break with another female agent and overhearing a conversation between a man and a woman in which he says he’s an FBI agent. They peer around some clothes racks thinking that they’re going to see one of their fellow agents trying to get a date, and when they don’t recognize the guy they go over and pretend to be interested in the big strong FBI agent themselves and ask to see his badge. The guy actually pulled out a fake badge, whereupon they said “Huh, that doesn’t look anything like ours…”, produced their own badges and arrested him for impersonating an FBI agent. (I remember this bit from a 25 year old book because I actually stole it myself for a fic)

Exquisite. Glorious. 10/10 thank you for sharing.

Every day I am haunted by the fact that Jupiter Ascending was not based off of a million word space opera fantasy book series and that I cannot go to the library and take out like six door-stopper sized volumes of sheer unhinged gendervibes-y space werewolf bee queen batshittery where every new freudian space eugenicist villain talks like he's trying to eat the scenery's pussy out harder than the last guy. 😔

Living alone by choice is funny because you're like "I wish I had someone to come back to who added light and warmth and companionship to my home, even distantly" but also if anyone else touches your kitchen you'll explode so you can't have that

"The winter sunset is so early and the home is so lonely" *remembers the roommate who never ever even once took the trash out* "and it's staying that way no one is allowed the fuck inside"

something about Toy Story toys is so strange to me. versions of animated characters based on real world toys, turned back into toys that are slightly different than the actual toys. slinky dog with a rubber spiral instead of a classic metal slinky. the porcelain bo peep and cloth woody turned into jointed plastic action figures. when toy story 4 came out and i saw a $30 talking action figure of forky, a character made out of a spork and a pipe cleaner, i stood in the walmart toy aisle staring at it like cameron from ferris bueller's day off staring at that painting in the art museum

all of the d.e.b.s. having the quintessential 2000s highly plucked pencil eyebrows vs lucy diamond having the worlds most beautiful natural brows is symbolic of how she is free from the overwhelming(ly heterosexual) pressure to conform in the secret agent academies in this essay i will