Hawkguy's Gal

Second round sex just hits different. You need to understand. The thing about second round sex is that you've been sitting around with the person probably still in bed and you JUST had sex but you want them again so bad that you...well, want them again. There is an unspoken intimacy in second round sex. It inherently cannot be as fast or frantic as first round because you Just Had Sex. Second round sex by its very nature removes itself from hookup territory. Shane would not know this. Ilya most CERTAINLY would. The first time Shane stuck around for long enough and stayed close enough for Ilya to get hard again and Shane tilted his head and said, "Do you wanna...?" Ilya would KNOW that it was time to hit the bricks. And if he didn't...yeah, there would be no keeping that secret from himself anymore. Shane is floating happily in Yay Two Times land and Ilya is fighting demons to nut.

Crucially #myshane plays to his twentieth season which is just long enough to have the experience of meeting Ottawa's new draft prospect, also named Shane, and to smile and jokingly say, "Hey nice name," and for the rookie to gulp and say, "Thank you sir I am named after you" and that makes Shane sit in his stall and stare at the floor between his skates for. Significantly too long to be healthy.

Imagine poor Ilya coming to terms with the fact that, though both his husband and best friend have only had sex with a handful of people (while he’s had countless hookups), both Shane and Troy have dated/fucked a movie star and Ilya hasn’t 🤣

ilya with an illegal vanity plate on his porsche that says FAGGOT

I like to imagine that, partially due to the Hockey Robot stereotyping and partially due to his watertight media training, commentators are constantly going on about "What's going on in Hollander's head? What was Hollander thinking there? Can't help but wonder what the Metros' Captain has on his mind right now." and it's like. Well statistically speaking. Cock.

ilya mad shane came up to talk to him like he wasn't stalking the fuck out of shane in that ice rink. yeah he just happened to be watching canadian men's figure skating the day after losing to latvia complete coincidence shane was there. it's like when cats bite you after following you into a room. shane's like omg kitty! and ilya is like NOOOO NO NO YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE ME OBVIOUSLY FOLLOWING YOU