an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

i explained the concept of freaking it to my 15,000 year old grandfather and he remained motionless within the glacier

Welcome to the Protestant Work Ethic where if you are not working for 16 hours a day you are a Sinner that will Burn In Hell. Unless of course you are rich in which case you are Blessed by God and can go to Heaven without lifting a finger.

413% is too fucking low. Gotta pump those numbers up

I think critiques of conservative politics that go "conservatives have said for a long time that they care about the family and family values, but look at them now, elon musk doesn't care about family he just cares about breeding his dna into as many kids as possible" are missing something big which is that when conservatives talk about The Family they aren't necessarily speaking straightforwardly about "two parents and their kids in a single family home" and nothing else. yes, that nuclear family image is often a part of it, but ultimately the Family structure is a Power Dynamic, and it's so ingrained in our culture that most of us fail to see it for what it is. the dynamic of the family structure is a tool of patriarchy, white supremacy, youth oppression, anti-lgbt sentiment, and christofascism. if you spend any time following conservative arguments and debates, these statements should not be a surprise to you, "traditional family values" has been used as a weapon of oppression for longer than we've been alive. so, conservatives who speak about the importance of traditional family values then moving ahead to abandon their wives and kids and focus solely on pro-natalist breeding projects as if they're an employer and their partners their employees is not a divergence from their core beliefs and values, but rather the next logical step in further the hegemony of the Family under capitalism. it is the Family taken to the extreme. it is in many ways a ridiculous extreme that exposes their hypocrisy but it's still just the Family streamlined and given infinite resources and made as efficient as possible. and even if it is more blatantly abusive than the families you may be familiar with in your personal life, it is likely the same dynamic and distribution of power at its core. if you don't understand family abolition maybe drawing this comparison helps.

good morning women with big butts

The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?

Also, nongender restrooms are better for parents. My brother and I grew up raised by my mom. While nothing ever happened to him going into the bathroom alone, not even like a poop accident that he would have needed help cleaning up with, my mom certainly got anxious sending a seven-year-old into the men’s room unaccompanied. A nongender restroom means that parents of small children can worry less about their kids.

Gender neutral bathrooms are The Shit. I love the privacy. Like as someone who gets menstruation related intestinal issues, the ability to just have an actual fucking door, and some goddam privacy is awesome. Gender neutral bathrooms benefit everyone. And back to the parents/caretakers of children thing, imagine if you’re a dude who’s out with a fairly young daughter or niece, what the hell do you do if there’s no family or gender neutral washroom? Use the womens’ and deal with the weird looks and/or comments, or chance it with the guys bathroom? Gender neutral bathrooms solve dozens of problems at once, including partially eliminating a need for family washrooms, as a gender neutral bathroom with change tables would take care of all that.

Having an abusive parent is kinda funny in retrospect like mommy why do you have beef with me im 4 i love you

Haters (my dad) can't stand to see a bad bitch (me, nine years old) winning ("drawing too loud")

How do you draw too loud?

Well you see the thing is that child abuse is inherently irrational

I know you mean the Magazine, but it’s funnier to imagine you calling these two commenters Whores.

Dear kids: sometimes, self-care is ridiculously unsexy. It's cleaning your filthy bathroom after weeks of ignoring it. It's washing your bedsheets and vacuuming your floors. It's forcing yourself to take a shower and brush your teeth. When that temporary motivation strikes, RIDE THAT WAVE as far as you possibly can. It's the kindest thing you can do for yourself sometimes.

every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb