do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

is anybody out there

God forbid Chippy do anything

You absolutely must unmute this video.

Fourthly, I miss when I throw so watch out

Five, nothing wrong with me

Six geese-a-laying

elvis died because it wasnt getting enough fiber

ive never fucked up someones pronouns this badly before, sorry

in chess the queens can kill each other which is toxic yuri and the kings can never get within a square of each other which is doomed yaoi

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

noncon friendship

Coworkers

Your friend’s boyfriend

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

Tumblr is a fate driven website. You can't find posts through the search function, you see them when you're meant to.

My Very Punctual Wife Gets My Night Worm can also be used to remember the order of the planets in the solar system!

Mercury Venus Pearth Wars Goopiter Maturn Nuranus Weptune

She maturn on my pearth til I goopiter