still on tumblr

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough

Sad they slut down club pangolin :/ we used to fuck that icebert to pieces

Club penguin. They were penguins.

Im too drunk to read.. what does this say

God i miss him so much

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

I did this with a fig tree once while hungover as shit and on a walk of shame. Best damn figs I ever ate in my LIFE.

when i was a teenager in san diego i was an absolutely unrepentant orange thief. climbed a fence to reach a particularly good pomegranate too. scrumping is a noble tradition of whores stretching back centuries and i won’t hear a word against it

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

im not above eating some low hanging fruit like if theres low hanging fruit i might eat some

problematic sudoku solving skills gap

today i just (remembers to maintain privacy online) did something really cool. you have to trust me

“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History