Physically? here. emotionally? in bed

None Pizza with Left Beef is 10 years old today.

like, all the food in the house is "theirs" and i will not be allowed to eat any of it.

so.

i was created to be the messiah of a god of destruction, and once i stepped outiside of my religious upbringing i realized that there’s more to life than the suffering of others, i began to doubt my purpose and came to the conclusion that it would be better for me to die than to let my doubt get in the way of me fulfilling my role

i’ve been good at manipulating people from a very young age and believe that a higher power created a series of events that would lead to me devloping arachnophobia which would, in turn, lead to me dying and being reborn to serve them

a cult killed my mother, so to protect me, my father went on a killing spree by sacrificing said cultists to the very god they worship to keep it at bay and keep me safe, and i feel like i have to hunt down the supernatural vermin of the earth to keep my fellow man safe in the same way

that is what most of the daisy comments say

It was just one ant!

Canonically mlm!

First line in the series was “First off, I should admit that I lied to get in here”  

Has so many fake names and might have even given himself an Avatar Title like a NERD 

Sir why do you have so many fake names.  Sir this is not a superspy series

SO dramatic but like. chill about it.

Calls himself a “death prophet or whatever”

Had a high-stress office job, had a nervous breakdown (mood), ended up working in a fortune telling crystals shop

Ended up working in JANE PRENTISS’S fortune telling crystal shop

Was an absolute bleeding heart softie when he was human 

Like if someone without a name pops up in a statement but is described as looking at someone so, so sadly all 🥺🥺🥺 that’s our boy that’s Oliver

This includes the statement-giver in Grifter’s Bone

This includes GERTRUDE

This includes JANE PRENTISS HERSELF

Spent years trying to warn people away from their deaths (including his own father!! ;-; ) before realizing he couldn’t help him

HE JUST WANTED TO HELP I’M SO SAD!!!

Depressed sleep-deprived millennial representation

Was so sleep-deprived he thought he could get away with impersonating a marine biologist on a science voyage

Once he got a few nights’ sleep and was slightly less sleep-deprived was like “oh fuck this is a TERRIBLE idea why did I think it was a good idea????” but was miles out to sea by then

“I guess I’ll die” meme

Got killed by a satellite but got better

Spent so long without talking to anyone before giving Jon his statement that he kind of forgot how to talk to people.  Get this man some FRIENDS.

So very polite

Hot

No really it’s canon

No really he’s one of three (3) characters described as handsome in the whole series

Listen you can’t just give me a handsome polite gothic grim reaper who is just Here To Do His Job and not have me fall in love