countless times its something ive cried about to my friends a lot this year.

Same as always. People give me hyper specific scenarios and ask what I would do as if I’m a lab rat.

yeah lol I take people at face value, especially because I can spot a lie immediately. the term pick me implies (almost always towards women) that she is not a reliable narrator of her own experience and life. That term seriously makes my skin crawl, its mean and hateful.

oh I love her.... I'm a fan of everything she does. there is a podcast she was on called between the covers, give it a listen when you get the chance darling <3

🤍

We’re all friends here

also, when I was unemployed i took that time to LIVE. Like really live. I didn’t rot in bed, i was making things, i was learning, i was engaged with the world around me. I may have internally wanted to give up, but I pretended as if this unemployed state was just my life and i made the most of it.

my dad told me to always question authority and that the more someone claims expertise the more you should investigate their true character. my mom taught me good posture and good fashion. and she taught me how to stitch a wound.

I am always in love or on the brink of love with something. a city, a book, a song, a painting, a body of water.

love love love loveeee

I see addiction as symptomatic of disconnection and unhappiness with one’s life, connections, and environment. I love my life, and therefore being sober makes little difference than when I’m drunk or high because I’m just generally happy to be here now (on earth). The opposite of addiction is connection.

At my baseline I am really impatient. It’s probably my true fatal flaw. But honestly traveling alone forced patience on me. Nothing goes according to plan, you don’t get to have expectations, only experiences. And that’s true of life as well. People around you and your environment are not subject to your invisible rules that you subject yourself to and therefore as a result experience impatience when things don’t go your way. Obviously you will experience impatience in some ways still, but humbling yourself is the antidote. The best way to humble yourself is to throw yourself into uncomfortable situations and listen more than you speak. Impatience is a form of arrogance, remember that.

oof. A lot of time alone. Cooking nice meals for yourself, intense body movement, good sleep, journaling, then slowly talking to people about it, then if its an option a lot of exposure therapy to the man who made you feel that way because then you will see all the gaps in the connection and it will lead you to feeling stronger. It also helps to know we’ve all been there.