dumb fandom side blog :)

i was just like 'oh cool jesus gets a boyfriend, nice!' but yk it could be both

As a reminder, he's suing Caroline Wallner, one of his accusers, for breaking her NDA. Not for libel. He's saying she shouldn't have told anyone about it, not that she lied.

He doesn't need the money. He's risking the Streisand effect. He is punishing Caroline, he's trying to intimidate other victims who have signed NDAs to scare them into continued silence.

He is no friend to women, to the LGBTQIA+ community, to anyone quite frankly unless he thinks they are of value to him.

I have come to the conclusion that, despite what much of the fandom would like to think, Legolas is, in fact, not a prince. My reasoning to back this up is based on two main pillars: the Woodland Realm’s monarchy system and Legolas’ lack of royal title throughout the books.

In regards to the Woodland Realm/Eryn Galen/Eryn Lasgalen: it was founded when Oropher and Thranduil arrived at the Greenwood with a handful of people and integrated into Silvan society, with the Silvan later making Oropher their king. Now, I can’t find the exact passage that describes Oropher becoming king. It’s not in the Unfinished tales of the Appendix B of The Return of the King; it might be in The Peoples of Middle Earth, but I can’t find a pdf of it to save my life. However, the Tolkien Gateway describes his ascension as him being “taken up by the Elves of the wood as their king” and “taken by the Silvan Elves as their lord” in the pages for Oropher and Mirkwood, respectively. The Thranduil page also uses very similar phrasing.

The implication here is that the Silvan chose Oropher as king, rather than he declaring himself as such, which led me to think that this could very well be taken as Oropher being elected king; and therefore the Woodland Realm would have an elective monarchy. In regards to Thranduil being king after Oropher, I’d chalk it up to a mere coincidence. After Oropher’s death at Dagorlad, Thranduil led Greenwood’s armies for almost the full 7 years of the Last Alliance, so it’d only make sense if he were the one  elected as the next king.

In an elective system, only the person who’s elected holds the title that they’ve been elected for, so there is no Royal Family, or titles adjacent to that of king. In the case of Oropher becoming king, only he would hold a royal title, which means Thranduil would be the son of the king, but not a prince. Later, that same pattern would repeat itself when Thranduil is elected king. Legolas is the king’s son, but that doesn’t grant him any titles or authority.

In fact, Legolas’ lack of titles is something that stands out quite a bit in the books. Despite him being introduced as the son of Thranduil, he’s never once called a prince, and his parentage is never acknowledged by any other character. Even when Aragorn introduces him in Rohan, he does so by calling him “Legolas of the Woodland Realm”, once again ignoring who his father is, and foregoing any weight or influence of name dropping the Elvenking. Sure, it can be argued that in this instance, Aragorn wasn’t sure of where Rohan stands in regards to the war, so revealing Legolas is the child of someone important might be risky, as well as that he emphasised the Woodland Realm to differentiate Legolas from the elves of Lothlórien, whom the people of Rohan distrust; still, it’s quite interesting.

“But what about the queen?” No queen. “Oh, but Thranduil had a child, so he must have had a wife!” Why? Because you believe in the myth of the nuclear family? Can a single man with not a drop of mental health not raise a child alone as though it’s his emotional support crusty white dog? He even followed the guidelines: adopt, don’t shop. “Oh, but the movies!” The Hobbit movies have dealt irreparable damage to Thranduil’s character and nothing they said matters to me. I was in this fandom before they came out, I remember the glory days of Thranduil’s tag on Tumblr and AO3 and, yes, I’m bitter.

Anyway, even if Thranduil were married to whatever “heart of gold, died tragically” OC the fandom has lined up, she wasn’t voted in, so no royal title for her.

* The reasons why Thranduil might not be King of the Woodland Realm can be whatever you like, from an Amidala and her handmaidens system to Thranduil being a compulsive liar to Thranduil quitting in disgust after the Battle of the Five Armies.

Poll question and several answers based on this post by @celebbun:

I have come to the conclusion that, despite what much of the fandom would like to think, Legolas is, in fact, not a prince. My reasoning to back this up is based on two main pillars: the Woodland Realm’s monarchy system and Legolas’ lack of royal title throughout the books.

Celebbun then details the relevant history of Oropher (Legolas' (presumed) grandfather) and Thranduil; it's absolutely worth reading their whole post before voting (except you almost certainly already voted before getting this far).

Some additional context specifically regarding the use of the word "prince" in The Lord of the Rings is below, but honestly it's fairly trivial even by the standards of this blog.

The original story was about being able to fix things and save things. Without destroying them and starting over.

Although there was a point about not messing with people's heads and just letting them be people.

Well, this line is technically also a win for atheism, but the whole "getting upset with people for acting like people" is on point and clearly the finale was referencing this line.

Crowley, as always, asking questions. What's the point of heaven and hell and all that. He always wanted to know. This was his one question.

Chess/Solitaire thing also rings a bell.

What I can't understand that for the entire story the Ineffable Plan was something real, something that existed and Crowley and Aziraphale could in the end always trust it. Whenever they did what they thought was the right thing, even if it went against what their respective offices had been telling them (flaming sword, Job, Elspeth, Armageddon't), it seemed that it all had to be according to Plan. It gave them a moral highground over hell and heaven. It was in a way something that made them right and the system wrong. It allowed them to get bolder and be themselves.

Crowley even suspects everything that happens, has to be happening because god wants it to happen. And if something wasn't meant to be, it wouldn't.

And in the end, I feel like the finale lowkey butchered it, because god said "nah there was no plan. No purpose. I just had a universe for 6000 years and now it'll stop existing so like sucks to suck guys" like she had absolutely 0 feelings about what she's created. She was neither happy nor mad. Like there was no goal neither achieved or missed. No good or evil. Ever.

So like... it's all been a lie?

She never says that she was right and satan was wrong. She never says that hell and heaven were both wrong and Crowley and Aziraphale were right... or even that they were wrong and hell and heaven worked as intended. In the end it seems like... everyone was wrong? Or maybe everyone was right???

Honestly, this pure h/c cold open may be my favorite part of the finale. At least its potential to launch a thousand fics was so palpable I could feel it on my skin.

Anyway, some observations worth pondering (and what a bummer that we're never going to get official answers to any of those).

As the camera zooms in on the Eternal Flame, there's a gravely injured angel just slightly down below. Is that Crowley? The scene is blurry and poorly lit, but we can tell that the angel has a long dark hair and is wearing a hooded cape which partially obscures their face.

I tried editing the screencaps to increase brightness and contrast and apologize for not the best quality overall.

So, do we think this angel is Crowley? Because when we see him in the next couple of minutes, he is wearing a hood, and his hair is long:

But then, of course, the angel at the bottom of the Eternal Flame had wings - battered, charred even, but still white underneath it all - and Crowley, when we see him, doesn't. Did he just hide them before trying to ambush Aziraphale?

And then there's the acting credits in the closing titles:

So, Crowley was the first character to appear onscreen according to this. But does it apply to the cold open or to the main part only? Because Crowley was the first one to appear in that one too (the back alley scene). Really really intriguing.

Another feature of interest in the cold open is Crowley's eyes. It's hard to see, but he still has his angelic pre-snake eyes:

After Aziraphale does the hand kiss to Crowley they look at each other. Aziraphale sees that it is ok, sees that Crowley accepts this forgiveness and then launches at him and kisses him on the mouth. We get the resolution of the kiss chevoks gun we get the queer joy. The friends i watched it with who are both gay were devastated by no kiss (it feels like for a show that is so precious to a queer audience if that is the case, something has gone wrong in the audience/script relationship) and they had so many chances!

Aziraphale and Crowley both MUTUALLY decide that they keep this messy imperfect world they love going, saving the humans they know and love. There is no ineffable plan, and heaven and hell change, maybe ceasing to exist altogether (but still keeping the angels and demon characters alive for the love of god! (And hopefully working towards understanding themselves and the universe better. Heck make a comedic beat out of that)). We dont fall into the awful Job/ Great Flood catch 22 morality set up.

Jesus fulfills his purpose in being introduced. Maybe hes the one who reminds Azi and Crow what they need to do. Maybe hes the one who saves them in the book of life. Maybe he talks to his mum. Idk. But he isnt a loose plot thread.

Crowleys question to god is more in line with the Edinburgh why start people off on different footings question rather than the free will question. Feels more true to him and his character concerns.

Also we have a compilation at the end and we see Beez and Gab drinking cocktails on Alpha Centari and Muriel studying criminology and Adam becoming a climate scientist and a tribute to Jesus and we cut to Azi and Crow in south downs watching its a wondeful life and theyve started so many charities and maybe they are human or maybe they arent or hopefully theyre something in the middle but either way they keep their memories and then we see them at the Ritz having an extremely alchoholic breakfast and we see Crowley has the most beautiful huge house plant greenhouse and Aziraphale takes him dancing and is so giddy about it and just this once rose everyone lives!!!