it feels very harsh to be told this when you're a victim and it can even feel invalidating. but you cannot justify attacking an entire group because someone hurt you or your loved ones.
bigotry is not exclusive to any political group; saying "someone from (x) hurt me, so everyone from (x) is bad" is classic bigotry and it can be used against any community, including communities that you are in.
"an endogenic system hurt me, so all endos are bad."
my first experience with systems was a traumagenic system that needed constant reassurance and validation from me or else their alters would "die", causing me constant stress and anxiety because i truly thought i was "killing" my friend. should i say all traumagenic systems are bad?
"a MAP groomed me online when i was a teenager, so all MAPs are bad."
i was pressured into sexual online relationships with adults when i was a teen, that i still struggle to unpack in therapy, and none of those adults were MAPs. who do i get to blame? what group do i get to target in order to make me feel safer?
you are always, always going to find examples of someone from (x) group hurting someone, because we all hurt each other. are there things that can raise someone's risk factors of hurting someone? yes. stigma is one of them. lacking community is one of them. 'education' rooted in purity culture that focuses more on fear mongering is one of them. the truth is, we all have something that could raise our risk factor, because hurt beings hurt beings. and we live in a very unfair world that can hurt us very deeply. the solution is not to keep hurting others.
you don't have to forgive your abuser (or abusers, plural). but you need to learn, at some point, that what your abuser did is what they did to you. others are not at fault just for existing as they are.
it might make you feel better to adopt an "us vs. them" mindset, but it's not going to give you control. to go through life believing that certain demographics are inherently bad or evil is giving that demographic power over your emotions, be it fear, anger, or both.
when you accept that everyone is capable of doing good and bad, regardless of demographic, you learn to judge based on the situation and not your trauma response. you learn to judge based on what someone does and not your assumptions of what they are.
all of us, as living beings, are far too complex to generalize into categories of 'good' and 'bad'. we're programmed to do that for survival and self-preservation, but that is the bare minimum. as complex beings living in a society, we can do better than that.
