emmett's space for stuff

"I'll never leave you."

Derek made that promise to his husband when they were pressed together as newlyweds, hot and writhing. Logan was under him, trapped by the weight of his love. But he turned his head from Derek's words, eyes flickering with doubt.

"Sure. That's why you married me, right?"

Derek could have been hurt. Instead, he smiled as if this were one of their inside jokes, his husband's lack of faith in their love. "Just to prove my love for you? Not quite."

They moved as one, even when there was distance. Even when Logan's thoughts slipped through Derek's fingers, running wild with their own conspiracies about all of this being a lie, a dream that Logan would wake up from — even then, Derek could at least hold onto his heart.

He said it again. He said it until Logan stopped holding back.

"You will," Logan snapped, pulling him closer. Derek let himself be fought in their kiss, moaning when Logan bit his lip, hard enough to make it bleed. He almost forgot to reply, distracted by how pretty Logan was with his blood on his lips.

Blood was just a small part of himself to give. Derek would give him the rest of his body if he wanted it. Flesh, bone, every finger that has the pleasure of caressing Logan's skin. Was it truly giving himself if all of him belonged to another?

Logan's teeth dug into his neck. Derek groaned in pain and held him closer, encouraging him to bite harder. That's just how Logan's love was: sharp, punishing. Beautiful, desperate.

His.

"I'll make you," Logan promised when he pulled away, teeth stained red. "I'll make you leave me. I'll do something that even you can't forgive."

Derek kissed him. He fought back, snapping his hips to make Logan gasp, opening up for his tongue. Pressing down, plunging deeper, until he was tasting his own blood and Logan's screams, ecstasy-laced, followed by fingernails dragging across his back.

Logan knew how to talk, but Derek knew how to make him loud.

"I'll always forgive you, Logan."

Logan stifled a sob. Derek kissed his tears, an apology for speaking the truth.

"You can hurt me for the rest of our lives. The only thing I won't let you do is hurt yourself."

That got him a laugh, as if this was one of their inside jokes.

"Challenge accepted."

Derek smirked and kissed him again.

---

"I slept with someone else."

Derek wanted to believe he was joking. He knew Logan wasn't. He dropped the words like ice in a drink, waiting for the cold to spread. There were bruises on his wrist and marks on the side of his neck. His eyes were bitter with regret. Resignation. Derek noticed he had been crying.

He thought of the person Logan slept with. Anger swirled inside him. He kept it out of his voice as he asked, "Did you want them to die?"

Logan rolled his eyes at that. "Oh, please. They didn't take advantage of me."

"I don't care."

He really didn't. Even if Logan took off his ring and said he was single, they should have known. How could they not? Derek and Logan Bornachi were always in the tabloids, New York's hottest power couple. There is no fucking way Logan — and most likely a drunk, impulsive Logan — convinced them that he and Derek were over.

Though he sure seemed to think they would be after the stunt he pulled.

Logan narrowed his eyes. There was an edge of panic, a realization that his plan might not have worked as expected. "Your anger is with me, Derek, not some random hookup. Don't try to avoid this."

He stepped closer, proof that he wasn't afraid. Derek liked that. He could see the rigid lines of Logan's shoulders, the urge to flinch tight in his jaw. It was so clear in his eyes: hit me, hurt me, hate me, I deserve it, I'll take it.

His husband was so selfish.

Slowly, he raised his hand. A muscle in Logan's cheek twitched. But the blow did not come, and when Derek gently cupped his face, Logan's eyes went wide. Panicked. Hopeful.

"I won't deny being hurt, Logan. But I'm not angry at you."

"Bullshit. You're supposed to be angry when someone hurts you."

Derek smiled. "Not when I've already forgiven you."

His plan failed. He could tell when Logan was forced to accept this, because all of the fight drained out of him. He crumbled, trembling, covering his face to hide the fact that he was crying. Derek wouldn't let him. He took his husband over to the couch and pulled him close to his chest, rubbing his back while Logan sobbed.

"You can't keep doing this," he said into Derek's shirt.

"I can," Derek said gently. "I'm sorry, love."

"S-Shut up."

Derek smirked and stopped talking.

---

"I put your family in danger."

This was no joking matter. Logan said it while looking him dead in the eye, after two Bornachis were nearly killed, one of them being Carlo. He confessed to giving faulty intel when Derek trusted him to help take down their target.

Derek considered this. He thought about Carlo and the amount of blood coming out of their body, pierced open by three bullet holes. As he and Logan spoke, they were getting blood transfusions from Derek's private doctor in one of the guest rooms.

He thought about Carlo's blood being on Logan's hands. Not as pretty as his own.

"Say something," Logan ordered. There was that tension again, wound throughout his body, ready to snap into action if he had to defend himself. Not that he would. Derek knows, if he lashed out, Logan would hold back. He would take what he deserved.

Derek wasn't going to give him that. Not now, not ever.

He approached his husband. Logan stood still, turning his head up to keep eye contact. Derek towered over him. It would be so easy to knock him down. Just a single slap, a fist to the gut, even a hard shove could send Logan flying. Once he was on the floor, he could be pinned effortlessly — Derek had done it enough times to know. He could make Logan pay.

He softly grazed Logan's cheek with his knuckles. 

"Will you do it again?"

The heat in Logan's eyes wavered. 

"If you can't forgive me a second time."

"There wouldn't be a second time. I won't put my family at risk."

This clearly bothered Logan. Derek resisted the urge to smile; his husband would never admit how much he loved being needed. Depended on. Trusted. Losing that privilege, especially when it's taken this long to earn the Bornachis' trust, meant something to him.

Logan chewed on his bottom lip, like a kid caught out in a lie. It certainly felt like that sometimes. That was something Derek would never admit.

"No," his husband said, reluctantly. "I won't do it again."

Derek did smile this time. "I won't tell them then."

---

"I'm leaving you."

Derek didn't laugh. He knew Logan would see it as mocking, and that would make him actually want to leave. But really, it was hard to take his husband seriously when he sounded like he'd rather eat glass. It was cute. Endearing to see how much Logan cared.

Continuing to read his book would just be rude, so Derek put it down. Looked at his husband, standing in the doorway with a suitcase already packed. His attempts to end their marriage really were becoming an inside joke.

"I'll wait for you," Derek reassured him. Logan's expression soured even more, until he had an idea. Derek could always tell when he did; his eyes would get brighter, lips curling into a small, self-satisfied smile. Like they did now.

"I'm leaving you for someone else."

This wasn't a joke either.

Derek regarded his husband for a moment. Made sure he wasn't just imagining the heat in Logan's eyes, dangerous and alluring, before he got up from his armchair. Stalked over to the smaller man, caging him between his arms. Logan just looked up, pulse jumping in excitement.

Derek almost licked his lips. "I'll hunt you down."

Logan smirked. "What happened to waiting?"

"Oh, I'll wait. You can have a three day head start."

"As if I need that long."

The heat thickened.

"One day then."

Rumors of their separation were all over the tabloids.

It ended up taking a week and two days to outsmart Logan's brilliant evasion tactics, which Derek was only able to do because he knew his husband so well. He got to the apartment before Logan came home. When he did, Logan opened the door to see his temporary lover tied up and screaming behind a gag as Derek's knife became acquainted with their flesh.

Logan was so pretty with their blood on him, gasping out Derek's name on the sofa. He later passed out for a much needed nap. 

Derek took care of the body while he slept.

---

"You can't do this!"

Logan couldn't stand being locked up. Treated like a child. Except his husband, rather than underestimate him, had taken every precaution to keep him inside the house because he knew how crafty Logan was when he needed to be. That was impossible now.

His prosthetic was gone. His one hand was handcuffed to the metal rung of the bed's headboard with a short chain. His ankles were also chained together — no lock that could be picked, just a solid chain that would need to be snapped off with cutters. Of course, if Derek didn't fucking drug him, Logan never would have let him get it on.

Derek sat on the edge of the bed, looking pained. Logan couldn't hit him even if he wanted to; the chain wouldn't go that far. But he still expressed his anger and hurt with loud, sharp words.

"How can you still not trust me? I can do this, Derek! I'm the only one who can!"

Derek shook his head. "It's a trap, Logan. You know that."

"It's an opening. If you would just listen to me—"

He cut himself off, growling in frustration. Derek wouldn't listen. He thought he was protecting Logan, as if Logan needed protecting. He was the most capable person for the job, and most of all, Cassius wanted him. The senseless, brutal killing of Derek's family could finally come to an end if he just let Cassius think he won, let him think he got what he wanted.

But no. It was too dangerous. Which was just another way of saying 'you can't do it'.

Logan bared his teeth, feelings of betrayal cutting in. "I should have known. All that bullshit about trusting me and being willing to do anything for me — you lied. You'd rather lock me up and make all the tough choices for me, just like David would."

He could tell that hit its mark. But it wasn't enough to get through to Derek, who just reached over and touched his face. Logan jerked his head away, glaring at him. Determined to stay vicious, until Derek softly said: "The only thing I won't let you do is hurt yourself."

That's when it dawned on Logan. Derek's limit. The one line that he refused to cross. Logan had been trying to find it all this time, convinced that it was hiding somewhere, just waiting to destroy everything they had.

Derek had already said it himself. Logan just didn't believe him. All this time, he couldn't believe that there was nothing, nothing that would take his Derek away from him, the man he lived for and would die for. It was too good to be true. David always said that, whenever he had to remind Logan of how unlovable he was.

But this metal against his skin, these chains forcing him to stay. This broken trust lodged in his chest, this hurt clawing up his throat. The starving, empty hole in his heart now stuffed with anger, anger at having his freedom taken away, anger at being shielded against his will, anger at Derek for refusing to let him choose just because Logan could get hurt—

That was love. That was what Derek had been telling him all this time.

He felt defeated. Relieved. Exhausted, suddenly, as his body lost the will to fight, feeling lost and unsteady now that there was nothing to question. Nothing to prove wrong.

He listed to the side. Derek moved closer for him to lay against.

"You'll never leave me," Logan said quietly.

Derek kissed his temple. "Never."

"You'll always forgive me."

Derek smiled. "Always."

Logan closed his eyes. "I wish you would let me help you."

Derek wrapped an arm around him. Logan leaned into it, melting with the warmth. He had never felt safer than he felt with Derek. Never felt more loved, no matter how much his mind refused to let him accept it. But he could accept it now.

"I'm sorry," Derek whispered, and Logan let himself smile.