thermalnuclearwar

so im at target right now doing christmas shopping with my dad and?? there’s just this… 67 dollar phone? not even like 69.99 or something but 67?? nnone of the other phones are like this??

…

………..

the first 40 minutes or so pass with many a delighted exclamation. stan lee was credited & i’m told blade was a marvel property, which is news to me. i’m thoroughly enjoying myself. the cop familiar gets the shit beat out of him & tells blade to check the fridge. the wind roars as the scene transition fades to black.

in fades a helicopter. a man with long dark hair on crutches emerges from it. i do not immediately recognize the man, but from the crutches & the hair i immediately go “morbius??”

they assure me he isn’t morbius. i accept that they don’t want to admit he’s morbius for some reason (maybe they just don’t want me to think blade is in the mcu?) as the entirety of michael morbius’s backstory plays out on screen.

i repeatedly ask “okay but this is literally morbius right” and “why are you doing this” as it becomes increasingly clear that we are now, somehow, watching Morbius (2022). everyone continues to insist it’s Blade (1999) until finally i ask “how long were you planning this” and logan says “you wanna know how long” and gives me a screenshot

Grace, like a youtuber: WHATSUP ME AND MY BOY ROCKY HERE FOR ANOTHER VIDEO; TODAY WE’RE TEACHING YOU HOW TO BREED TOAMOEBA! ROCKY, ANY WORDS?

Rocky: Will be lit, statement.

GRACE: HELL YEAHHH!

Human 1: (points at animal) What’s that?

Human 2: Cow.

Human 1: (points at bug) What’s that?

Human 2: … little cow.

Human 1: But it’s so much smaller. Who would have use for such a small cow?

As of right now, it's impossible for polls to turn into long-running legendary posts. You can try, sure (see the bug race), but it's a week and then it's locked, fixed, done, and all that's left is for people to reminisce about that time there was a poll.

On the other hand, if a ten year poll gets popular, it can become part of Tumblr lore while still being updated. People can write passionate appeals for their vote and fight in the notes. Others can make graphs to show how the poll's majorities shift with each different US president or Taylor Swift album. People can make memes about "remember 2025, when option 3 was in the lead? That was a crazy time".

Why ten years, though, instead of a hundred or just no time limit? Because that way, the end becomes an event. People who voted in the poll when it was just a few hours old can watch the final countdown together, and there's a new point in Tumblr history: That day when we finally all agreed on the best option, and presumably also some important political stuff happened.

Now, granted, most ten year polls would never reach this level of notoriety. But it only takes a few polls like this to be worthwhile. Maybe this shouldn't be an option for users to select, but something the Tumblr website grants/pushes on you at random?

Super

Who

the chaos of a 10 year

poll with the options

The Eridian Governments: wtf WTF wtF???

The Eridian Scientists: *celebrating like they've won the intersteller lottery*

THREE MONTHS LATER

Now that we have discussed this: I would like you to imagine the first time after Rocky left for Tau Ceti that somebody has the gall to speak of Adrian and Not refer to them as “Rocky’s Adrian” when the context would make that the appropriate way to refer to them. Implying they’re available now.