a schizophrenic fujoshi is speaking

Hello Billy. Papa is out of the evil warehouse today. Before you is a set of colored pencils, a book of shapes and numbers, and a coloring book consisting of gruesome depictions of my best traps. You may also watch some television. There is orange juice and leftovers in the fridge which you must finish in 12 hours, or else they will go bad. Love you son

For clarity, when I said "don't push yourself", I didn't mean "don't ever test your physical and emotional limits"; I just meant maybe the Costco parking lot is not the place to conduct that particular experiment.

You think I'm just memeing here, but the Costco parking lot is in fact the perfect place to meet people who feel strongly that the only way to prove their manhood is to attempt to do The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift moves with a shopping cart containing two hundred kilos of Diet Coke.

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

wait op is 15. I don't want to argue with them. [visibly scheduling a reblog] what day is op's birthday

first of all happy birthday. congratulations on making it this far. you'll find that I edited the contents of this reblog for each of your birthdays that passed since you made this post to include slightly more personal wishes and I'm honestly really proud of you. also I'm sorry about your cat(?), since there was never a good time to say it so I thought I'd just include those condolences while I'm at it. now with all that out of the way,

if you tragically passed before this reblog arrived, I'm sorry about that. but please understand I've been waiting quite a while and it would feel like such an anticlimax if I cancelled this. have a peer take over your spot in the argument if you're uh... you know... unavailable, to put it delicately. sorry if that happened, also.

anyway, to get back on track, digimon was not just worse pokemon

Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink