dear, you have to move.

@apocrypals

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

[AFTER REVEALING VERY TELLING PERSONAL INFO] But don’t read into that. let’s move along

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

i have to feel weird and unsure of everything forever #thecurse

do the kids today even know about azlyrics? the calming lavender?

*voice of someone craving even the tiniest sliver of control* i could make a spreadsheet,

felt ok but then remembered

Calvin's Dad was a fucking prophet.

would u still love me if i were stuck in a cycle i've never been able to break

Gonna chill out the rest of May and then change my entire life in June. Possibly July if that doesn't work out. Certainly no later than September or October.

Instead of going to work tomorrow why don’t we all just dig a really deep hole

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

(three decades into my life) sorry I wasn’t paying attention, can we start again?